Nocturnal Submission: Freestanding Edition 206

Rest assured, the original contents of this sack were not of the fancy steel-cut variety

How would each of the presidential candidates handle losing at the racetrack? That’s the question!

Slick Hillie: Join a paid focus group sponsored by BetFail, plunderers of the late, lamented Hollywood Park.

Buhnny Syanduhs: Rail against the special interests peddled by the Indian Gaming Lobby.

Don Trump Sr.: Build a wall to keep out all the winning players! What did you expect! (P.S. ‘WE…LUUUUUUUV…SUNLAND PARK! THEY WON’T BE ABLE TO SEE IT FROM CIUDAD JUAREZ ANYMORE!’)

Mark Ruby: ‘Don Trump Sr. knows exactly what he’s doing…Don Trump Sr. knows exactly what he’s doing…Don Trump Sr. knows exactly what he’s doing…’

Theo. Cruise 3d: Fool bettors into thinking Nyquist is no longer in the running.

John Kasich: Handle it like a gentleman, move on to the next town.

Ben Carson: Build a racetrack on the site of the ancient pyramids, stash future winning therein.

Well, there you have it. One side disavows the Laws of Science and Reason; the other pretends the Laws of Economics can be suspended without unintended consequences. Where does that leave us? MIKE BLOOMBERG-GARY JOHNSON 2016. Or something like that. Hoo-boy.

Delta
Race 7 (9:28 p.m. EST / 6:28 p.m. PST): #7 Hashbrown Nofilter

PennNat
Race 6 (8:16 / 5:16): #1 Built in a Day
Bonkers Box (Race 6): #1 Built in a Day – #6 Flight Path

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Next time!