First Post: Monday, August 22, 2011

Better Than Zenyatta Mondatta!

In an age of unrest, upheaval and uncertainty, one horse stays true: See You At Peelers!

All right, all right, you chariot-racing aficionados you! Here’s your big day. Don’t get too excited, but in the absence of anything approaching “Keeping Up With Keira Knightley” status in the Thoroughbred game, we have The Great Standardbred Hope, See You At Peelers.

Yup. She’s already better than Zenyatta Mondatta, who was stopped before she hit 20 straight wins. ’Peelers is at 22 and counting now. She deserves our respect, or at least our attention.

In terms of the variations on equine competition, we shall always prefer trotters, pacers, steeplechasers, jumpers, dressage contestants, Appaloosas, mules, paints, pintos, Tennessee Walking Horseys, Lipizzaners, Bucking Broncos, those mechanical Bucking Broncos like in that movie Urban Cowboy, and even Arabians over that sham type of racing known as the AQH. We won’t even spell out the name of that fake breed. Trotters, pacers, steeplechasers, jumpers, dressage contestants, Appaloosas, mules, paints, pintos, Tennessee Walking Horseys, Lipizzaners, Bucking Broncos, those mechanical Bucking Broncos like in that movie Urban Cowboy, and even Arabians are all furlongs ahead of those fake AQHA events.

Thank you, and here’s your free ones:

Rundown
Saratoga Race Course 2, 5, 9

Soggy. Good day to wait until Wednesday.

Pay-side:

Rundown
Delpark 4, 5, 6
Suffolk 6, 7, 8

Also soggy. Good day to wait until Tuesday.

WMF Report:

Speed
Delpark 6f
PennNat 1m
Saratoga 6f
Suffolk 5½f, 6f

Nocturnal Submission: Open affair in Race 3 at the Mountain (7:50 p.m. EDT / 4:50 p.m. PDT), and it’s one of those notorious Bonkers-type situations: #2 La Pescadita and #3 Wildcat Bombshell are the worthies. …

That’s it. Bye-bye.