To borrow from the eternal wisdom of the estimable Carlos Irwin Estevez: “Duh, shipping!”
We don’t think Good Time Charlie can sue us for trademark infringement for replacing “winning!” with “shipping!”. But winning is clearly at the heart of Pars Week.
Just as Discovery Channel has its Shark Week and the patrician WQXR-FM 105.9 in New York City has its Trout Week, so we at Cynthia Publishing are pleased to bring to you Pars Week.
But instead of offering up the Great White and the rainbow, Pars Week angles for winners, particularly of the longshot variety. And the now-shipping Cynthia Publishing Company 2011 par times are the essential bait and tackle toward that end. (Well, for us, at least. And perhaps for you, too. We do not deny that you may have too many preconceptions to bother with Cynthia Publishing! Yet in the words of that other fantastic modern philosopher — no, not Charlie — S. M. Jenkins: “Don’t let reputation predeceive you.”)
The pars are the basis for our daily Live Longshots (ever heard of ’em?), Weekend Stakes Sweeps and all the rest of our analyses on the Cynthia Publishing Company Website and on the HiddenEntries blog. They’re built into all our handicapping software — FastCapper, The HandyCapper, and, of course, All-In-One V6 — and they help us gain insights into Thoroughbred ability that go well beyond the ken and fondest wishes of most of the fans in the stands. And even some self-proclaimed experts, too!
We’ll get to all that over the next seven days. Suffice to say for now, the printed book versions are on their way. Your long-suffering patience is soon to be rewarded. As for the pars in their various digital formats, the discs are being duplicated on the weekend, and the rollout will start Monday. Again, we appreciate your concern and understanding, your eternal tolerance of our usual dilatory practices. We are optimistic that the wait will have been worth it.
In the meantime, this year’s version clocks in at an impressive 111 pages. If you haven’t seen the Cynthia Publishing pars since before Moses built the Ark or Ulysses reunited with Penelope, that’s 111 pages of all killer, no filler. No 27-point courier type. No columns and rows of the infamous “0.0”. Those are days we choose to leave behind.
Eighty-plus tracks, from Albuqerque to Zia, from Beulah to Yavapai, and just about every other North American hippodrome in-between. That’s all pars, right there. In our compilation, Northlands Park, Will Rogers Downs and beloved ol’ Atlantic City Race Course take their rightful place alongside Keeneland, Del Mar and Woodbine.
How come? You don’t want to end up like Achilles, that’s why! You don’t to miss your chance at parimutuel immortality just because you dismissed that near-$100 winner at Hawthorne who shipped in from Fort Erie, for which you had no pars! (True story; it’s in the archives of this blog!) So if you aspire to professional results, you will dip yourself entirely in the full complement of these pars.
But all pars are the same, right? Why not just pick up any old set from some unctuous huckster aligned with a behemoth of the industry? Why not, indeed? Because they can shout louder? Because they make 8,000 posts on a forum filled with sound and fury? That’s a lot of time and energy expended on fishing for compliments! Is it worth it?
Rather, we focus on enlightening you with things you won’t learn at some trumped-up association’s Night School. To beat the game, swim against the tide. If approximately 3 percent of all players are winners, then does it not follow that bleating the same-old, same-old tired lines as 90 percent of the players will result in a negative outlook? Do you want to be like that 45,000-post orangutan babbling next to you? We report, you decide!
That’s why in addition to 111 pages of pure three-call par times, we put before it another 105 pages of PLUS materials. These include facts, figures, original insights and step-by-step instructional materials to make sure you get the most of your handicapping experience from using the pars. Learn the intricacies of true Track Class, Intertrack Class-Level Ratings, Average Daily Variants, Projecting Running Times, Winning Move Factors, Individual Track Capsules and Local Knowledge Issues / SuperPars you will never find in any other publication on Thoroughbred racing.
These 105 pages are bound to give you minutes and minutes of fascinating reading, all based on exhaustive hours of research, study and outside-the-box thinking on the subject. We are not talented enough to make 53,000 posts and still do a thorough job with this publication in our spare time; rather, we have spent the bulk of the time on the pars and on the accompanying PLUS materials. We hope that this difficult choice will prove beneficial to you as you seek to gain insights and handicapping procedures placing you above your fellow raceogers.
All right, all right. End of rant. This screed is blunt and quite caustic. We offer no apologies. You can at least rest assured that it is genuine, not fawning or self-congraulatory. Enjoy more of our genuine work in this year’s edition of the Cynthia Publishing Company par times. In your edition of the 2011 PARS PLUS materials, shipping now in printed book format and on Monday in various digital formats.
Thank you for reading, and best wishes.
Further information: 2011 PARS PLUS.
P.S. Although she is not in any way affiliated with us or any of our products, we do appreciate the good work of Katie Sowder, one-time Jeopardy! champion.
P.P.S. 341 posts > 53,000 posts.
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Pars Week Begins! An Introduction
To borrow from the eternal wisdom of the estimable Carlos Irwin Estevez: “Duh, shipping!”
We don’t think Good Time Charlie can sue us for trademark infringement for replacing “winning!” with “shipping!”. But winning is clearly at the heart of Pars Week.
Just as Discovery Channel has its Shark Week and the patrician WQXR-FM 105.9 in New York City has its Trout Week, so we at Cynthia Publishing are pleased to bring to you Pars Week.
But instead of offering up the Great White and the rainbow, Pars Week angles for winners, particularly of the longshot variety. And the now-shipping Cynthia Publishing Company 2011 par times are the essential bait and tackle toward that end. (Well, for us, at least. And perhaps for you, too. We do not deny that you may have too many preconceptions to bother with Cynthia Publishing! Yet in the words of that other fantastic modern philosopher — no, not Charlie — S. M. Jenkins: “Don’t let reputation predeceive you.”)
The pars are the basis for our daily Live Longshots (ever heard of ’em?), Weekend Stakes Sweeps and all the rest of our analyses on the Cynthia Publishing Company Website and on the HiddenEntries blog. They’re built into all our handicapping software — FastCapper, The HandyCapper, and, of course, All-In-One V6 — and they help us gain insights into Thoroughbred ability that go well beyond the ken and fondest wishes of most of the fans in the stands. And even some self-proclaimed experts, too!
We’ll get to all that over the next seven days. Suffice to say for now, the printed book versions are on their way. Your long-suffering patience is soon to be rewarded. As for the pars in their various digital formats, the discs are being duplicated on the weekend, and the rollout will start Monday. Again, we appreciate your concern and understanding, your eternal tolerance of our usual dilatory practices. We are optimistic that the wait will have been worth it.
In the meantime, this year’s version clocks in at an impressive 111 pages. If you haven’t seen the Cynthia Publishing pars since before Moses built the Ark or Ulysses reunited with Penelope, that’s 111 pages of all killer, no filler. No 27-point courier type. No columns and rows of the infamous “0.0”. Those are days we choose to leave behind.
Eighty-plus tracks, from Albuqerque to Zia, from Beulah to Yavapai, and just about every other North American hippodrome in-between. That’s all pars, right there. In our compilation, Northlands Park, Will Rogers Downs and beloved ol’ Atlantic City Race Course take their rightful place alongside Keeneland, Del Mar and Woodbine.
How come? You don’t want to end up like Achilles, that’s why! You don’t to miss your chance at parimutuel immortality just because you dismissed that near-$100 winner at Hawthorne who shipped in from Fort Erie, for which you had no pars! (True story; it’s in the archives of this blog!) So if you aspire to professional results, you will dip yourself entirely in the full complement of these pars.
But all pars are the same, right? Why not just pick up any old set from some unctuous huckster aligned with a behemoth of the industry? Why not, indeed? Because they can shout louder? Because they make 8,000 posts on a forum filled with sound and fury? That’s a lot of time and energy expended on fishing for compliments! Is it worth it?
Rather, we focus on enlightening you with things you won’t learn at some trumped-up association’s Night School. To beat the game, swim against the tide. If approximately 3 percent of all players are winners, then does it not follow that bleating the same-old, same-old tired lines as 90 percent of the players will result in a negative outlook? Do you want to be like that 45,000-post orangutan babbling next to you? We report, you decide!
That’s why in addition to 111 pages of pure three-call par times, we put before it another 105 pages of PLUS materials. These include facts, figures, original insights and step-by-step instructional materials to make sure you get the most of your handicapping experience from using the pars. Learn the intricacies of true Track Class, Intertrack Class-Level Ratings, Average Daily Variants, Projecting Running Times, Winning Move Factors, Individual Track Capsules and Local Knowledge Issues / SuperPars you will never find in any other publication on Thoroughbred racing.
These 105 pages are bound to give you minutes and minutes of fascinating reading, all based on exhaustive hours of research, study and outside-the-box thinking on the subject. We are not talented enough to make 53,000 posts and still do a thorough job with this publication in our spare time; rather, we have spent the bulk of the time on the pars and on the accompanying PLUS materials. We hope that this difficult choice will prove beneficial to you as you seek to gain insights and handicapping procedures placing you above your fellow raceogers.
All right, all right. End of rant. This screed is blunt and quite caustic. We offer no apologies. You can at least rest assured that it is genuine, not fawning or self-congraulatory. Enjoy more of our genuine work in this year’s edition of the Cynthia Publishing Company par times. In your edition of the 2011 PARS PLUS materials, shipping now in printed book format and on Monday in various digital formats.
Thank you for reading, and best wishes.
Further information: 2011 PARS PLUS.
P.S. Although she is not in any way affiliated with us or any of our products, we do appreciate the good work of Katie Sowder, one-time Jeopardy! champion.
P.P.S. 341 posts > 53,000 posts.
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About Steven Unite
The unofficial spokesperson for the Boys In The Backroom...