Good song for right about now! Also, Happy [redacted]st birthday to the greasy, slick and weaselly THE OTTER OF THE OTB, A Sartin Morecrazy Production! SLICK & WEASELLY.
Some of the lyrics from the song ‘Brethren’ by Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks from their album Sparkle Hard:
Such a fine life, relenting and good for the most part up to now
Though you know it could all fall apart
In an instant, come crashing down
The song and dance, it’s part of the trance
I don’t know when I picked it up
The avoidance drips from your chin
The situation’s never in doubt
Just hear me out with the brethren
May the better side win! Hoo-boy. Bros! Bro-tastic! Bro-ham! Brethren! Yee-haw!
You know, we went to these type schools, and during our
sentence incarceration years there, some guy was hazed with a fire-extinguisher hose up his rectum. Plus there were things called ‘atomic situps’, and forced cold showers in the middle of the night, many other bodily harms. At that time at this particular school, there was no coeducation, so the brethren had to take it out on the younger boys. Plus it was a residential school, so there were no local house parties to terrorize etc. Hoping that the boys there now are leading a more-respectful Presbyterian-type life these days.
Then in college, it was no different. White-guy fraternity chants were vile, stuff about pool tables & cue sticks & female genitalia, with one fraternity boasting an event called the ‘Debu-Tramp’. BROS WILL BE BROS!
But, as they say in the writings of Step 4 of a Certain Code for Living, ‘Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct’. As sober, civilized citizens, it’s probably better to try to curb those rampant instincts, yup? Or else, if you are able and connected enough, you can probably just surround yourself with similarly misdirected bros (and their enablers!) and keep getting away with it, keep carrying on, a certain shade of patriarchy forever and ever, world without end, amen.
Anyway, that’s too heavy. It is, after all, THE OTTER OF THE OTB’s [redacted]st birthday today, and he only appears to be a bro. In truth, he is too dark and too low-T to be a bro. Yet, we wish THE OTTER OF THE OTB many happy returns. He’s an otter, and everybody loves an otter!
#6 Trusty Roll ($22.20, BestLine Fair Odds 6.58-1)
#6 Aunt Gayle ($24, BestLine Fair Odds 5.10-1)
#2 Court Verdict (!) ($32.40, BestLine Fair Odds 2.79-1)
Belmont 3 (Low-Priced Overlay of the Day)
#8 China Rider ($7.20, BestLine Fair Odds 1.53-1)
Now, it’s always post-time somewhere, and today, Races 4–7 over at the Gate look good for a throw or two. Still plenty of time for you to get involved. Just turn up the music and laugh hysterically.
Finally, please come join us in a prayer: ‘God/Yahweh/Jehovah/Allah/Buddha, save us from being angry. Anger is a luxury we cannot afford…’