First Post: Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Bigger than a divot, smaller than a bunker

‘Crikey, Cromartie! That cranky critter’s a crazy crater-creator!’

Kevork alert! The soon-to-be 1-year-old canine is back to his best after a brief bout with the dreaded ‘kennel cough’; the snap, taken this morning, shows he is again exhibiting his normal compulsive and destructive behavior. Granted, his latest attempt to dig his way from here to the antipodal Indian Ocean found him receiving some assistance from his niece, the ever-complicit Gilligan Dog. Nonetheless, his appetite and energy levels have rebounded nicely, and we are grateful for his recovery.

All right, callers. We’ll open the board up to the ol’ ‘Last Contentious Race of The Day’ nonsense now.

Fort Erie
Race 7: #10 Rising Shiner

Fairmount
Race 5: #3 I Found a Penny

Indiana
Race 8: #10 Mantana
Bonkers Box (Race 8): #10 Mantana – #7 Chilly Red Account

Luzianne
Race 8: #6 Doggie Dawg (!)

Mountain
Race 9: #3 Geometric

Keystone
Race 9: #5 Big Town
Bonkers Box (Race 9): #5 Big Town – #11 Chasing Twilight

Presque
Race 3: #4 Beantown Saint

Thistle
Race 6: #7 Mister Peppers

Zia
Race 9: #3 Silent Dehere
Bonkers Box (Race 8): #3 Silent Dehere – #2 Jet Texas

For some reason, the mopes enjoy when some commentary is attached to the touts. We don’t know why, either, but some speculate that it makes you appear more intelligent, less random, sort of like how members of the current executive cabinet (men and women alike) in Wash., D.C., wear eyeglasses when appearing in public. It might be nothing more than a parlor trick or, literally and figuratively, optics! At any rate, we find this commentary personally distasteful because we ourselves understand that, if they still are dissecting the long-ago-decided results of things with fewer levers — such as election outcomes and futbol games and ’murrikan Gridiron Throwball contests — and not agreeing on what caused what or who did what to whom, what possible good can a little analysis do ahead of the much wilder event of a Thoroughbred horse race?

Then again, the marketplace is the marketplace, and if the people feel consoled with a few lines of quote-unquote wisdom, we are not necessarily compelled to disabuse them. The media and the business behemoths pander to the base (double entendre there!) so perhaps we might take a page from the winning playbook of the corporate giants. Commerce! So here goes nothing…

Dual Qualifier Mantana is the quickest of the quick, endures in a contentious heat. Chilly Red Account tries to stay abreast and may inherit a favorable position late.

Doggie Dawg is a hunch play on Kevork alone, on Kevork alone.

Big Town has the last, winning run in a closely matched field. He’ll have to get past leader-in-the-lane Chasing Twilight, though.

Beantown Saint will be well supported by the sizable Southy community taking part in the parimutuels.

Mister Peppers, Dual Qualifier, makes his best running in the stretch.

Silent Dehere and Jet Texas have plodding late action that probably won’t win this but nonetheless seem appealing at long odds in this desperate contest.

How’s that? We are also available for weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Grand Openings, etc.