Tuesday Sniping: Alternative-Facts Edition

Come on, you knew we would not resist that headline this week. Anyway, here’s a little sunny defiance to be played on a continuous loop for the next four to eight years.

‘This avalanche, I’m not afraid. Come on, come on…’

The chorus is irresistible. You can yell and yodel it all day long.

N.B. You know what should be coming on the satire-and-parody shows next, don’t you? A skit of the Jeopardy! television programme in which alternative facts are uttered as confident responses, only for Mistah Alex Trebek to shut them down, and hard. Please. We need this. Writers, please do this. Thank you. We need to see Mistah Alex Trebek in his understated Canadian ‘Ooh…surrie…’ way reject these overconfident ’murrikan blondies and skinheads. Please. Thank you, writers. Please do this now. Please. We need it. Thank you.

Mahoning
Race 6: #2 I’m a Big Hitter
Race 8: #6 Shane Roars
Bonkers Box (Race 6): #2 I’m a Big Hitter – #3 Yo Phat
Bonkers Box II (Race 8): #6 Shane Roars – #4 Don’t Stop Me

Keystone
Race 8: #8 Polite Pearl
Race 9: #1 D’marin
Bonkers Box (Race 9): #1 D’marin – #4 Nick’s Posse

Sunland
Race 2: #3 Secrets On Ice
Race 7: #1 Marthas Boy
Race 8: #8 Artic Crush
Race 9: #2 Desert Cat
Bonkers Box (Race 7): #1 Marthas Boy – #4 Deviled Legs

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Mistah Alex Trebek, a fine example of the Canadian Way of Life.