First Post: Thursday, December 17, 2015

Damn, those were the days! Back when we were undergraduates at Don J. Trump Univ., Thursdays were astonishingly special nights. We were absolutely floored by the generosity of our amazing benefactor to be able to feast on the unquestionably best Trump Steaks in the ample Marla Maples Dining Hall. Then we’d head down to the out-of-this-world Baron Jr. Rathskeller for half-off pitchers of fantastic Ivanka Ale while we all got rowdy watching Celebrity Apprentice on the 89-foot Trumpshiba Trumpvision Trump-Trumps. Damn, those were the days!

We were unbelievably lucky. Those benighted bastards at Sanders Tech had to eat rice and beans and sit Indian-style on the dirt floor around the radio in the communal room. Man, can’t say we envied them.

Free ones: Rundown…

Aqueduct 6
Gulfstream Park Proper 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Los Alamitos Thoroughbreds 8

Pay-side (Weekend/Weekday): Today…

Fair Grounds 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Turfway 1, 2, 3, 5, 7

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Too bad for Don J. Trump Sr. that he has a good fear of furriners, otherwise he might be able to promote some of that tasty WAGYU BEEF. Dem Eastern Hemisphere cows get beer and massages, sometimes simultaneously. That’s Trump Treatment right there, just before you shamble up the Ramp of Death in preparation for The Sacrifice.

Yesterday’s Activity: One good one at Gulfstream. As always, hope you had ’em.

WMF Report:

Early
Chas. Town 6½f, 7f
Fair Grounds 6f
Gulf 6f
Los Alamitos Thoroughbreds 1m
Turfway 1m

Nocturnal Submission: Chas. Town 7 (10 p.m. EST / 7 p.m. PST) has #5 Riveter Gloria and #11 Pop of Color in with upset hopes. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. So long now.