Monday Boxing: Immortal Andrew Luck Edition

Clearly the Hunter Pence of the American Big-League Gridiron Throwball Cartel. Does not let the moment get to him. Remembers his humanity and never tries too hard. Not a grasper or a striver. Good throwballer. Hoping he can take it to the Cheatersz & Their Supermodel this coming Sunday, so that the Supermodel can have another hissie fit this year.

Moreover, the Gridiron Throwball nowadays more resembles a legal drama than an athletic event. They are so busy adjudicating nearly every call on the field, it’s as though the zebras are the jurists and the sidelines are filled with screaming attorneys. Terrible. Replay is making an already bloated, pause-filled game more like the last two minutes of hoopball — tedious and balky, good only for selling automobilesz and entry-level beer-products.

Only good sports left are beisbol and ice-hockey and fútbol, plus horse racing, as long as it is not American Quarter Horses; chariot-racing OK. Also, women’s curling and beach volleyball, for obvious reasonsz. Tyvm. Tennis also. Tennis OK. Good athleticism and quickness on display. Golf acceptable for executives, but no real need for reflexes or quick-twitch muscle fibres in golf. Recapping, then: beisbol, ice-hockey, fútbol, horse-racing (but not Quarters; chariot-racing OK), women’s curling and beach volleyball, tennis.

Mahoning
Race 1: #5 Heather’s Wildcat (early) – #3 Bold and Beautiful (final)
Race 8: #5 Skipapalooza – #4 Saffron Sky

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Bye-bye.