First Post: Friday, July 11, 2014

‘Sit down! We serve anyone!’

Hey, buddie! Pssst! You, over there…c’mere! The Southland Corp. wants to give you something for free today…today only!

We don’t shill for just any quiescently frozen beverage. There are many imitators, but there’s only one Slurpee. Don’t forget that today, numerical date 7-11, means you can get your itchy, sweaty palms on your very own small-size Slurpee without paying for it. Refills will cost you, however.

You can’t go wrong with straight-Cherry, but some of those soda-flavored Slurpees provide that extra tingle of ice-cold carbonation in the back of the throat. Delightful!

Remember, that’s your friendly neighborhood 7-11 store. Not those cowboy-kickers at Circle K. Not those Armenians who own the 6-12 ripoff racket in metro-D.C. Not Wawa or Pink Dot or Duncan’s Doughnutsz or *$$ Kafé…only 7-11. Skol!

Free ones: Rundown…

Calder / Gulf Gulf 4, 5, 6, 9
Los Alamitos Thoroughbreds 2, 3, 6, 8

Pay-side: Today…

Arlington 4, 6, 9
BelTerra 1, 3, 4, 7, 8
Louisiana 3, 8
Lone Star 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 10
Monmouth 5
Woodbine 1, 4, 6

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: None today, but what’s going on with King LeJames? Bosh? ’Melo? Hoopball…too much absolute control with the handsz, just like American Gridiron Throwball…too much use of the hands. At least in beisbol and ice hockey and golf and tennis, direct handling is frowned upon, and various long-shafted implements serve as proxies for the hand. And of course there’s fútbol. Remember this goal from the Arse last season?

That’s some fancy footwork!

And again, there are more basketball teams than not who could not even begin to reach this level of ball-movement…and they’re allowed to use both hands and all 10 fingersz! ¡Fútbol numero uno siempre!

Yesterday’s Activity: Yeah, boysz. Ned Reldem, Esq., in the house yesterday. Boyszzz!

Ned is one of ’em Libertariatsz/Property Rightsz screechersz. It’s amazing we can be friendsz with him, but…well, hey. Yup, as a member of the 0.01 percent olicratsz/plutogarchsz ruling over Loudoun Co., Va., Ned is necessarily looking out for himself and all the many contents of his safe-deposit box, yet he is not overtly classist or racist (or, nowadays as is their wont, sexist) like many of these Libertariatsz disappointingly turn out to be. If a Libertariat can also turn out to be a menschkeit, Ned is the one. For one of ’em Libertariatsz/Property Rightsz screechersz, he retains a fundamental sense of decency and humor. Unlike all the rest of his Libertariatsz/Property Rightsz brethren, Ned is not constantly trying to remind you he is superior to you or that there is only one righteous way to live. Thank you, Mr. Ned! Thank you for disavowing any knowledge of Alisa Rosenbaum or however her real name was.

Yes, Ned frequents his oceanfront property at one of ’em Bethany Beach-type enclaves on the DelMarVa peninsula, and he hits the off-track betting sites at the old-timey chariot raceways down there. We do what we can to help him. This includes negotiations currently underway to secure his contributions to this here Web log on a long-term contract. No, he will not be talking about the horseys too much, but rather news you can really use: how to make your financial investments grow like Kudzu in the South.

In the meantime, he reported yesterday from OceanCroft Raceway down there on the peninsula that he indeed was good with Gulf Coast Breeze in Race 4 at Delpark.

Ned arrived late, so he did not snag the way-bet-down My True Lady in the second there, $14.20.

We do not know how he did in Race 7. The top-touted Legal Punch went off at 28-1 and ran second by 1¼ lengths.

Finally a winner at the Los Alamitos Throughbred meet: Miss American Pie in Race 6.

Over at the Louisiana, top-touted Broadway King came through at $30.80.

And at Lone Star, Island Drive led to the winner’s circle in the sixth at $21.60.

Ned had the first one mentioned at Delpark. As always, hope you had that one, and all the rest as well!

WMF Report:

Early
Assiniboia 6f
BelTerra 1m
Chas. Town 4½f
Emerald 6f, 6½f
Evangeline 5½f
Fairmount 6f
Indiana 6f
Los Alamitos 4½f
Prairie 6f
Thistle 1m

Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. So long now.