‘Nurse! Get this patient some table salt! STAT!’
Move along, no cheap (not-so-cheap?) health insurance to see here.
However, this here site continues to function without too much crashing. This is due to much lower demand, sadly. However, some well-placed, upset-minded horseys could cure many illsz! Many! We report, you decide…
Free ones: Rundown…
Belmont 2, 7
Santa Anita 7
Pay-side: Today…
Golden Gate 7
Hawthorne 4, 5, 6
Keeneland 1, 7, 9
Remington 4, 5, 6, 8, 9
Over all, a tame day. Over all. The NYT still uses two words for this; even though they have now sanctioned use of the unhyphenated “email” and the compound “Website”, they contintue to insist on “over all”. As well, they continue to insist on the periods separating “N.B.A.”. NYT #1 alwayszzzzz!
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Three stakes today at Elmont, but we cannot say too much thereto. Regrets!
Yesterday’s Activity: Eight tracks featured on the pay-side yesterday, but wins at only three of them. Ugh.
Over at the Hawthorne, one touted race, one touted horse in that one touted race: Queen of Heat in Race 2. Lo! Queen of Heat, 8-1 on the morning line but a mere 4½-1 in real life, was one of ’em vaunted Triple Threat Horseys. Uh-oh. The win mutuel was $11.80.
Over at the Laurel, one of ’em runner-up finishes that leaves us lamenting, “Welcome to The Home of The Runner-Up Finish”! That took place in Race 8, in which the sole-touted Violette Bonbon, 20-1 on the morning line and a startling 53-1 on the toteboard, ran better than all but the winner — again, at 53-1. Hoo-boy. ’Bonbon was sixth-best on the Betting Line but third-best on LifeLiner Speed (81). Good enough for contender status. Sorry, but the winner, a measly 10-1, was not reachable by our standards. What are you going to do?
The two races at Laurel before that one, however, turned out better. Starting in Race 6, there was the $21.60 win mutuel provided by lone-touted I’m Not a Baby. ’Baby was tops on the Betting Line and more than good enough on LifeLiner Speed. At 12-1 on the morning line, ’Baby went off 20¢ shy of 10-1. Not bad.
One race after that, it was top-touted Thegalthatwasaboy prevailing at — would you believe? — $21.60. ’gal was 12-1 on the morning line, a qualifier on LifeLiner Speed in a contentious race. Unfortunately, Bonkersmate Agustina de Aragon could not complete the cold-puncher’s exacta; in fact, ’Agustina finished last.
Despite the natural double, Laurel Races 6 & 7 had no actual double, natch.
And then there was Keeneland. Whatever else happens in the current meet, this Fall 2013 in Lexington, Ky., already has attained unforgettable status, cemented by another fine performance today.
In between two bomb winners was an honourable runner-up finish in Race 5 via Bonkersmate Black Tulip, 12-1 in real life. The winner was top Betting Line and top LifeLiner, so the saver exacta of $126 (4-1 above 12-1 in an 11-horse field) was makeable. As well, the 10-1 third-place finisher was in with a formidable 94 LifeLiner Speed score, and the trifecta paid $913.80 (for $2).
What happened to Race 6? We had a lone-touted horsey in Race 6! So, what happened to Race 6? We are ignorant. Probably something really tragic and bad happened, and we remain ignorant and will be blasted for asking what happened to Race 6. Let the critical reaction begin!
Race 4 at the Keeneland found a straight-up single tout: Thatboathassailed, who won by a dirty nose! Aha! Some luck! More luck! Thatboathassailed closed like the champion he is, scoring at a $40.40 win mutuel. Yow! A value on classic, contentious-race V6 Betting Line dynamics as well as on competitive LifeLiner Speed, Thatboathassailed deserved some mention, and this time he did what he was capable of doing, like the champion he is.
Then in the finale it was one of ’em King of the NetCapper Bulliesz specials! Thank you, Allah! Allahu Akbar! It is written! We celebrate all longshots, but when they happen in the day’s last race and thus can be labeled “Kind of the NetCapper Bulliesz” specialsz, well, Allah is with us. Allah, be with us! Praise Allah!
Anyway, here was the top-touted Tahoe Warrior, 20-1 on the morning line and 90¢ below that when the gates opened, was yet another helping of that classic, contentious-race V6 Betting Line dynamic, third-top on that Betting Line, Fair Odds of 5-1, LifeLiner Speed of 93, second-best in the field. How does this happen? How does this Tahoe Warrior horsey go off at nearly 20-1 when all the bets are collected? Is Anjelica Houston no longer putting down the late money for one Mistah Bobo Justus at Paloma Downs or the Turf Paradise race meet at La Jolla? Ever see that movie, The Griftersz? Worth seeing, and then there’s the matter of a youthful Annette Bening and her full frontal imprudity…
Ah, yes, again, back to Tahoe Warrior. Gate-to-wire, held on, $40.20 to win. The public’s fave ran second, and that horse was OK on LifeLiner, with the $2 exacta paying $172.20.
Thank you, Keeneland. Thank you for this King of the NetCapper Bulliesz special. Thank you, Buddha & Zoroaster, for all King of the NetCapper Bulliesz that we have posted, post now, and have yet to post, yesterday, today, tomorrow, world without end. Thank you again. Lexington, Ky., firing up America!
WMF Report:
Early
Belmont 6f
PennNat 6f
Remington 5½f
Santa Anita 6f
Rally
Santa Anita 6½f (T)
Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…
Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Bye-bye.
Blood Pressure or Psychiatrist ???? Thursday I did sail on that boat in the 4th race Wednesday, but the BLOOD BOILER was, I loved DELTA GOLF ALPHA in the next race. GONNA WIN @ 17/1 plus, great PIC 3 opportunities {by the way} would have hit} if not for Calvin wrecking in the race + called a NO CONTEST. The payoffs were ALL with whatever you played with the race, DELTA was my single! BOO-HOO. The owner had an airplane once and that was the call letters. Friday does me in though, The same guys farm , MILL RIDGE, has KEEP UP, in in the 6th race. I have been safely touted on him. He wins easily—11 bucks. For some reason Doc.is up on the 3rd floor skulking around my territory, this lady who shares a table with me spots him going around the corner towards the racetrack. So I find him and congratulate him on his win. He says to me—What are you doing standing around over here?? Do you have any Honey? My wife is still drinking it. Don’t you have a Program? I’ll get you one! Boy that hurt, He thought I just looked at the horses and guessed. Ego’s are painful at times. Told him Battaglia was sure touting your horse & he says– He loves that horse, He bet him both times he won & paid 60+ bucks. I sauntered back to my table & did get one more winner, the AMOSS horse in the 8th—I think is was about 14 bucks.
Gonna go watch DREAM SOFTLY in the 1st at KEE today. Sunny & Beautiful but a mite Nippy. Anything you want me to say to “THE HAIRCUTS”
Congratulations. You have been shortlisted for “Comment of The Year”. The winner will be announced…
Ah, yes, Delta Golf Alpha (Alfa). No matter the horsey, once the Phonetic Alphabet is involved, it’s virtually an automatic play.
Sadly, we touted on this horsey, this Delta Golf Alfa (Alpha). Did he really cross the line first? Yes, it would have been a cold-touted triple 3 for us as well. Shenanigans! Borel, he should stick to harming his fellow jockeys, not innocent horseys and parimutuel events.
Better to drink on the honey than on the honey-flavoured Jack/Jim/Evan Williamsz.
If Dirty Lo Duca is there, you should hold up two things in front of him: a discounted Eric Gagne Bobblehead and a syringe, any size, shape or make. If that guy is still injecting the beefroids, he may charge at you as though you threw at his head!
Ah, yes. Regarding DREAM SOFTLY in off the seven-month layoff.
Hate to tell you, but DREAM SOFTLY is one of ’em Triple Threat Horseys. Uh-oh.
Save some for the rest of us. Tyvm.