What Happens Psychologically When You Miss Your Last Two Daily Doubles…
The 30th Anniversary of “America’s Favourite Quiz Programme” Jeopardy! is coming up in 2014. God bless ya, Alex Treebeak! Though we miss your moustache, your kind (read: gentle) sense of humour and fundamental humanity are stronger than ever. We feel your goodness from here, bruddah, even though you are across town over there in Culver City. Hey, it’s OK that you have to shill sometimes for World Vision & Colonial Penn — the rents here in Studio City ain’t second- and third-place-finisher money!
Pilot Season. Some people probably just fly out for Pilot Season not to be in a Pilot but instead to make a sport of all the other, more-serious people trying to be in a Pilot. Malkmus could probably write a good ditty about Pilot Season and its less-savoury aspects. Let’s ask him. It would be modeled along the lines of his other great song about random, meaningless relationships, Gorgeous Georgie.
Now, horseracing? That’s the Beauty Part, Myron! We don’t have to be overbearing or too serious about the horseracing. You can get that on that place they call the Pays Advertisements. PAYS ADVERTISEMENTS. No one out there is too obtuse to get the reference. No one. Now, the stuff we do is better than having to make up (literally!) a narrative to justify it. We leave that to the mopesz at the PAYS ADVERTISEMENTS. We bet people jeopardize their eyesight (not to mention the proper functioning of their cerebral cortex) looking at that place too long. Garish.
Nope. Not our charter (man! what’s with the “charter” kick the last few posts!). We never want to try too hard. There is effort and there is grace and we cross our small, stubby fingers that we have put in and received enough of both, in that order.
Free ones: Rundown…
Belmont 6, 8, 9, 10
Golden Gate 8
BFHollyPark 2, 3, 6, 7
Pay-side: Today…
Woodbine 1, 3
Pimlico 3, 5, 7, 8
Arlington 5, 7, 9, 10
Louisiana 2, 5, 6, 8
Lone Star 1, 7, 9
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Louisville!
Yesterday’s Activity: As always, Welcome to The Home of The Runner-Up Finish. Let us count the times.
Belmont 9, and the two touted runners, Exporter and Awesome Weekend (16-1), completed the trizacta after the untouted 3-1 third-public-choice Saved the Best won. Sorry. Nothing good to say about Saved the Best!
Quite painful was Churchill 6, in which three horseys were touted and the third of those, the Second Bonkersmate Greengrassofyoming, darn near pulled off the glorious shock. Greengrassofyoming was 15-1 on the morning line and shot up to 28-1 when the gates opened. He ran second, beat a dirty neck for the victory. However, Film Making, untouted due to a too-low (say that a few times fast!) 4-1 morning line, was a LifeLiner Speed Column qualifier, and the backup exacta was $274 (for $2). Amazingly, the favored I’ll Call was not in the LifeLiner mix! Thus, I’ll Call ruined the trifecta for us. Thanks a lot!
Another nearly-was in Race 8 at Churchill, this time courtesy of Shared Property, 10-1 on the morning line and ignored to 18-1 at the off. Shared Property fought like the fiery underworld in the stretch, even getting to the lead in the final furlong but having to settle for second, beaten by the 6-5 fave. That fave, Golden Ticket, was OK on LifeLiner Speed, and the exacta was $55.60 for a $2 saver. However, as in Race 6, the show-horse was elusive, and the trizacta went begging.
Again, we don’t normally give props to the third-place finishers of our longshot-touting, but Cease was pretty good in Churchill 9, beaten less than two lengths for it all at 24-1. The place-horse, 11-1, was OK on LifeLiner, but the 4-1 winner escaped any positive LifeLiner scrutiny. How long, o Lord, how long?
After all that, any winners?
CD 10, Bonkersmate Caliparty, 8-1 from, well, 8-1 on the morning line. The $2 win mutuel was $19.40. Sorry, no use for the runner-up. Ugh.
GG 7, the desperate Lornefivehundred, 7-1 from 10-1 on the morning line. The mutuel was $16-even, and the reachable, sensible exacta was $45.
BFHP 7, the resolute Yomybato, 25-1 from 12-1 on the morning line (!), $53-even. Any other free pages on the Internetz that touted five horseys and returned quadruple-profit? Probably, but we don’t need to pay attention to them. We might start thinking and talking and acting like them. We let them shout each other out. We keep our head down and put in the hard yards, we hope. Thank you for your patiencesz & understanding.
(Interestingly, the LifeLiner Speed Column Array — again, R.I.P., Sartinez Methodism — had 70-77-85 on the winner, the great Yomybato, and 74-69-94 on the runner-up (by a dirty head), the 4½-1 Real Conundrum. So for your number-type handicappers who like to talk raceshape and pace and speed and all that extraneousness, how’s that? OK? Getting warmer? Something you can brag to your buddiesz about? The exacta with these LifeLiner Speed Column Qualifiers was $245-and-change. (YET AGAIN, THE SHOW-HORSE PROVED INHOSPITABLE TO LIFELINER. AGAIN, THANKS A LOT!)
WMF Report:
Early
Calder 5½f
Chas. Town 4½f, 6½f
Finger 4½f
Keystone 6f
Prairie 6f
Turf Paradise @1m (!) (T) (!!) (WMF 163)
Nocturnal Submission: Man, you can tell the racing season is heating up now. The North American continent plays host to 236 Thoroughbred events for your Friday. Many of those will be taking place after dark, and normally in this here space we share some of those with you, with our compliments. Tonight, however, we ask you to consider supporting us in a more tangible manner.
Asking is not bad. Commerce is not bad. Capitalism is the best option so far. We ask humbly and politely. It’s either asking nicely or else indiscriminately littering (fouling!) this here site with blinking, flashing ads. PAYS ADVERTISEMENT. Potterville v. Bedford Falls. Maybe. Or something like that.
Flashing come-ons. This is why we stay away from Facethingie and prefer googleplus to it. Cant’t trust those Exeter guysz like Zuckerstein or Andover guysz like GW43. Lawrenceville guysz OK (Jay Carney, Huey Lewis, Joakim Noah, etc.) modest. Delbarton guysz OK. Exeter, Andover, not so modest. Portsmouth Abbey guysz, OK. Tulane guysz OK, all modest citizens who know their role, who know their place.
Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Bye-bye.
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First Post: Friday, May 3, 2013
What Happens Psychologically When You Miss Your Last Two Daily Doubles…
The 30th Anniversary of “America’s Favourite Quiz Programme” Jeopardy! is coming up in 2014. God bless ya, Alex Treebeak! Though we miss your moustache, your kind (read: gentle) sense of humour and fundamental humanity are stronger than ever. We feel your goodness from here, bruddah, even though you are across town over there in Culver City. Hey, it’s OK that you have to shill sometimes for World Vision & Colonial Penn — the rents here in Studio City ain’t second- and third-place-finisher money!
Pilot Season. Some people probably just fly out for Pilot Season not to be in a Pilot but instead to make a sport of all the other, more-serious people trying to be in a Pilot. Malkmus could probably write a good ditty about Pilot Season and its less-savoury aspects. Let’s ask him. It would be modeled along the lines of his other great song about random, meaningless relationships, Gorgeous Georgie.
Now, horseracing? That’s the Beauty Part, Myron! We don’t have to be overbearing or too serious about the horseracing. You can get that on that place they call the Pays Advertisements. PAYS ADVERTISEMENTS. No one out there is too obtuse to get the reference. No one. Now, the stuff we do is better than having to make up (literally!) a narrative to justify it. We leave that to the mopesz at the PAYS ADVERTISEMENTS. We bet people jeopardize their eyesight (not to mention the proper functioning of their cerebral cortex) looking at that place too long. Garish.
Nope. Not our charter (man! what’s with the “charter” kick the last few posts!). We never want to try too hard. There is effort and there is grace and we cross our small, stubby fingers that we have put in and received enough of both, in that order.
Free ones: Rundown…
Belmont 6, 8, 9, 10
Golden Gate 8
BFHollyPark 2, 3, 6, 7
Pay-side: Today…
Woodbine 1, 3
Pimlico 3, 5, 7, 8
Arlington 5, 7, 9, 10
Louisiana 2, 5, 6, 8
Lone Star 1, 7, 9
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Louisville!
Yesterday’s Activity: As always, Welcome to The Home of The Runner-Up Finish. Let us count the times.
Belmont 9, and the two touted runners, Exporter and Awesome Weekend (16-1), completed the trizacta after the untouted 3-1 third-public-choice Saved the Best won. Sorry. Nothing good to say about Saved the Best!
Quite painful was Churchill 6, in which three horseys were touted and the third of those, the Second Bonkersmate Greengrassofyoming, darn near pulled off the glorious shock. Greengrassofyoming was 15-1 on the morning line and shot up to 28-1 when the gates opened. He ran second, beat a dirty neck for the victory. However, Film Making, untouted due to a too-low (say that a few times fast!) 4-1 morning line, was a LifeLiner Speed Column qualifier, and the backup exacta was $274 (for $2). Amazingly, the favored I’ll Call was not in the LifeLiner mix! Thus, I’ll Call ruined the trifecta for us. Thanks a lot!
Another nearly-was in Race 8 at Churchill, this time courtesy of Shared Property, 10-1 on the morning line and ignored to 18-1 at the off. Shared Property fought like the fiery underworld in the stretch, even getting to the lead in the final furlong but having to settle for second, beaten by the 6-5 fave. That fave, Golden Ticket, was OK on LifeLiner Speed, and the exacta was $55.60 for a $2 saver. However, as in Race 6, the show-horse was elusive, and the trizacta went begging.
Again, we don’t normally give props to the third-place finishers of our longshot-touting, but Cease was pretty good in Churchill 9, beaten less than two lengths for it all at 24-1. The place-horse, 11-1, was OK on LifeLiner, but the 4-1 winner escaped any positive LifeLiner scrutiny. How long, o Lord, how long?
After all that, any winners?
CD 10, Bonkersmate Caliparty, 8-1 from, well, 8-1 on the morning line. The $2 win mutuel was $19.40. Sorry, no use for the runner-up. Ugh.
GG 7, the desperate Lornefivehundred, 7-1 from 10-1 on the morning line. The mutuel was $16-even, and the reachable, sensible exacta was $45.
BFHP 7, the resolute Yomybato, 25-1 from 12-1 on the morning line (!), $53-even. Any other free pages on the Internetz that touted five horseys and returned quadruple-profit? Probably, but we don’t need to pay attention to them. We might start thinking and talking and acting like them. We let them shout each other out. We keep our head down and put in the hard yards, we hope. Thank you for your patiencesz & understanding.
(Interestingly, the LifeLiner Speed Column Array — again, R.I.P., Sartinez Methodism — had 70-77-85 on the winner, the great Yomybato, and 74-69-94 on the runner-up (by a dirty head), the 4½-1 Real Conundrum. So for your number-type handicappers who like to talk raceshape and pace and speed and all that extraneousness, how’s that? OK? Getting warmer? Something you can brag to your buddiesz about? The exacta with these LifeLiner Speed Column Qualifiers was $245-and-change. (YET AGAIN, THE SHOW-HORSE PROVED INHOSPITABLE TO LIFELINER. AGAIN, THANKS A LOT!)
WMF Report:
Early
Calder 5½f
Chas. Town 4½f, 6½f
Finger 4½f
Keystone 6f
Prairie 6f
Turf Paradise @1m (!) (T) (!!) (WMF 163)
Nocturnal Submission: Man, you can tell the racing season is heating up now. The North American continent plays host to 236 Thoroughbred events for your Friday. Many of those will be taking place after dark, and normally in this here space we share some of those with you, with our compliments. Tonight, however, we ask you to consider supporting us in a more tangible manner.
Asking is not bad. Commerce is not bad. Capitalism is the best option so far. We ask humbly and politely. It’s either asking nicely or else indiscriminately littering (fouling!) this here site with blinking, flashing ads. PAYS ADVERTISEMENT. Potterville v. Bedford Falls. Maybe. Or something like that.
Cynthia Publishing Company Handicapping Store
2013 PARSz for V6
2013 PARSz in printed-book format
2013 PARSz programmer’s format so you can pirate them and sell them on the black market…thanks a lot!
Trainers
Daily Touting
Videos
Flashing come-ons. This is why we stay away from Facethingie and prefer googleplus to it. Cant’t trust those Exeter guysz like Zuckerstein or Andover guysz like GW43. Lawrenceville guysz OK (Jay Carney, Huey Lewis, Joakim Noah, etc.) modest. Delbarton guysz OK. Exeter, Andover, not so modest. Portsmouth Abbey guysz, OK. Tulane guysz OK, all modest citizens who know their role, who know their place.
Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Bye-bye.
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The unofficial spokesperson for the Boys In The Backroom...