The world is filled with snap-judgers, and look where it has gotten us: message boardsz, Yelp! (Yelp! for crying out loud, literally!), large-scale economy & finance, unnecessary treatments and pillsz and statins, the villifying of whole, wholesome foods because they have fat, etc.
Keep your own counsel. Let the fullness of time reveal the truth. The earth was flat. The Pope was infallible. Bernie Madoff was a genius, and so was Ancel Keys. So were Rogoff et al. Sarah Palin was The Future of Politics. We are too quick to put faith in people whose egos are larger than their talents. We rush to embrace the guy who can talk the loudest, the one who can shout down everybody else. And so everybody goes around talking really loud and trying to shout down everybody else. Hopefully, this sort of BS retreats into the obscurity it deserves.
These snap-judgers, they would encounter Leonard Cohen on the street and dismiss him as a vagrant, probably. And he is nothing less than a musical genius, right? Really, just a genius full-stop.
Inside. It’s what’s inside that counts. The bankers and the schemers and the pols have a pretty polish on the outside; they wear the styles of the day, cut their hair the proper length, say the words carefully scripted for them on the TelePrompter. But you now know what good that has done us all. Now you know.
Bukowski dressed like a human thrift store. The privileged kidsz of today would dismiss him as a hobo. They drive around in their special foreign carsz and go to high schools here in Los Angeles named after convicted felons and imitate their TV heroes the Armenian Barbies and, were Bukowski still alive, these special kidsz would probably throw their bongwater out the window at him on the sidewalk as they screamed by.
Yes, this is what judgment has gotten us. This is what snap-judgment has led us to: crashes and panics and largeness. Nothing that good, really. Nothing. Marketing, hucksterism. Yes, we have to apologize for our part in the hucksterism. We raise our hand and call ourselves out on it. Truly, we want dearly to compete, to put good stuff out there, stuff that’s better than what is available elsewhere on TV and the Interwebsz, but we have to find a different path to it than hucksterism. We apologize for our part in the hucksterism — it was Mistah Mitchell’s charter as a fast-talking Irishman who grew up in Brooklyn and was raised in that competitive environment, and we have to step back a little from it. Granted, the underdelivering and overpromising and delays are ours entirely, and that’s not that good. Sorry. Really sorry.
Still, the stuff is good, and we use it daily, no matter when it comes out. And it does come out, eventually, it has every year, just like these posts come out every day, even if it’s not as early as we fantasize it will be or as early as you need it to be. If you have lost patience, regrets. How can we make it up to you?
Judgment = power. Understanding = giving up power.
(Hey, it was either this or Scientology?!)
N.B. This last line was an allusion (even if a penny-ante imitation) to the ending of Philip Roth’s Portnoy’s Complaint. Enjoy its humanity. You’ll also be laughing so hard you’ll cough up your spleen, if you still have your spleen. Thankfully, the spleen is a vestigial organ, unlike the liver and kidneys etc.
Tampa6, 8, 9 Pimlico 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9 Woodbine 9, 10 Lone Star 1, 9 Golden Gate 8
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Four being run, none being touted here this time. Regretsz!
Yesterday’s Activity: Day 2 of touting with the All-In-One V6 handicapping engine powered by the 2013 Cynthia Publishing Company par times.
Frantic City, Race 3, in which Second Bonkersmate S S Skittles, 10-1 on the morning line and 5-1 at off-time won at $13.60; First Bonkersmate Valley Stream, 7-1, just missed the place-spot. Too bad. However, the interloper, 3-1 Mythical Hero was a LifeLiner qualifier, so the exacta and trifecta were within reach: $57 (for $2) for the former, $282 (for $2) for the latter.
Race 6 there, and a straight-up tout winner via This Ain’t No Bull (!). ’Bull Luzinski was 10-1 on your morning line but a cut-in-half 5-1 when the gates opened. Oh, well — $12-even to the good there. First Bonkersmate Kissing Bandit (!) did run second, and the Hal Earnhardt-Morganna hookup paid $73 (for $2). Unfortunately, the menage-à-troisfecta completed by Moose Man Skowron was unattainable. It remained a fantasy. As those things mainly must.
Two days into Belmont now, still in possession of the maidenhead.
The ninth at Calder, and Backseat Memories (!) was your straight-up top tout, 8-1 on the morning line but this time neglected to 10-1. A good closing-type LifeLiner shape for him (65-73-80), and that’s pretty much what happened in his $23.20 victory. The cold-punch perfectamate was nowhere near, however.
Deplorable at BFHollyPark. Sorry, Inglewood! Next time!
The Opening of your 2013 Ky. Derby meet at the Churchill yesterday, and Louisville went the way of Belmont and BFHollyPark. Regrestz. It happens.
Tampa 6 had Lotta Irish winning at $20.40, with the rally projection made via his 61-63-80 LifeLiner array (“array” — God bless the Sartinez Methodism; R.I.P.) At least ’Irish was a little bet-up, to 9-1 from 8-1 on the morning. Nothing doing in the completion of the exotics world, though.
Over now to visit the Dundalk Grrrrrlz at Pimlico, the Charm City Hoochie-Coochies getting ready for their big show in the Balto. infield in three weeks. In preparation, they were rewarded if they played Harlan’s Crown in Race 3. Harlan’s Crown was 12-1 on the morning line and an even lustier 17-1 at the off. LifeLiner Speed Column score: 99! Barbara Feldon hallehoohah! Oh, Max! By now you are most likely aware that the highest possible score attainable in any LifeLiner Column is 99, not 100. This is done to remind us of the imperfection of everything, the necessary wabi-sabi. Really. No lie. In many cultures, 100 is perfection; 99 is not. So we stop at 99. Really. That’s the etiology there.
So, anyway, Harlan’s Crown was 12-1 on the morning line, 17-1 when the bell rang and before any of this went down he was the untoppable 99 in the LifeLiner Speed Column. This is how it was. It may have been a desperately close finish, but sometimes those get to go your way. Like his time: $36.40. Blues Heir was not touted at all, being a paltry 3½-1 on the morning line, but he qualified on LifeLiner and completed an entirely manageable $235 exacta.
Later there, the seventh, and we really try not to mention third-place honourable mentions, but Pimilco brings back good memories of all-out irresponsibility, a Maryland Mystique if you will, show-runner (not the Hollywood kind of show-runner — yukk!) at 22-1.
A winner in the ninth too, but at a tamer 4-1, Stormy n’ Sly ($10.80). OK. The remaining three comprising the superfecta were all LifeLiner qualifiers: $57 (for $2) for the exacta, $575 (for $2) for the trifecta (completed by 29-1 GREEN WAVE GIRL — roll, TULANE! fondly we remember you…), $2,588 (for $1) for your super-duper. For the precision-freaks needing validation, LifeLiner was 90-99-93 for ’Stormy, and he pretty much won that way, in front; place-horse Explainable had a 67-77-92, he rallied to that line, making up three positions and 3 lengths in the final furlong.
Race 8 at Hawthorne, and First Bonkersmate Luv Bandit came through at $23.40, bet-up from 8-1 on the morning. The exotics went begging.
Woodbine 4 now, and Bonkersmate Jack SPRUCE (please, you do not mind if we take license with this horsey’s name, do you? Too bad this was not a finale so that Jack SPRUCE could have been a King of the NetCapper Bullies special! Next time!). Well, yes, then, Jack SPRUCE. Jack SPRUCE was the Bonkersmate in this race, 7-1, $17.40 to win, 10-1 morning. This was a desperate race; nobody hit even 80 in the LifeLiner Speed Column, so the winning decade of scores was the 70s. (Speaking of SPRUCE, he had this crazy scheme called pace-adjusted times; it was baffling even to people who knew the definitions of the words “fractal” and “Mandlebrot”. It was a real Rube Goldberg contrivance. When we finally did V6 in Java and far away from MS-DOS V5, we had to s***can the whole idea of SPRUCE’s pace-adjusted times. Wow. What a hot mess that was. He was one of those guys who embraced complexity and the theoretical for their own sake, for the impression of being clever, even if reality and predictiveness were a far way off. Hoo-boy. Wow. A hot mess there. Wow. [Throat-clearing noise.])
Finally there was Lone Star in Tejas (Tejas!), and we have winners to report from the Sovereign Nation of Tejano. Yup.
F P Silent Eyes won the third at $13.60. She was a straight-up top tout, no Bonkersmates needed. Another 10-1 morning-line chance way-bet-down. LifeLiner pegged her at 96-99-89 and that is how she won, in front.
Also OK in Race 4, thanks to straight-up lone top tout Shezararebird, 8-1 on the morning line and also when the bell rang. Here was a king-hell closer to win, and LifeLiner characterized her as 60-72-95. Yup. That looks like a closer, all right. Wonder what the pace-adjusted timesz had to say about her. No matter. The win mutuel was $18.80, but there was no daily double offered linked to F P Silent Eyes in the previous race. Maybe your friendly neighborhood Turf Accountant Nick the Fish was able to accommodate yourself. That sort of daily double would have been in the $150-$200 range, no? However, knowing Nick and his ilk, maybe that last zero would have been lopped off to cover “administrative fees”. Or something like that.
Celebrity, fame, notoriety, TMZ, we’re not grasping for it. We wish to put in a respectable effort no matter who’s lurking. If it comes, it comes. Besides, we’ve already had enough notoriety to last several more lifepsans on the karmic wheel. So maybe notoriety will come again. You never know. But if not, well, we’re having a good time and doing what we were meant to be doing all along, probably. We do OK. We do not set the world on fire, nor do we shoot desperate blanks. It’s the middle course for now. The cream always rises, or at least it has a good and satisfying mouthfeel that endures. Either way, it’s tasty. Cheersz!
WMF Report:
Early
Hawthorne 6f
Prairie 6f
Nocturnal Submission: The last race on the continent for your Sunday evening, so the potential exists for a King of the NetCapper Bullies conflagration. How exciting. It’s Mountain9 (10:20 p.m. EDT / 7:20 p.m. PDT), and if insomnia strikes, maybe #7 Money No Money, #8 Tia Silvia and #9 Justanothernikita can put in sufficiently drowsy appearances that your head will hit the pillow before this esteemed trio crosses the wire. It’s possible!
Thank you. Best wishes. Please join us tomorrow for the next edition of the weekly minor hit known as “Monday Boxing”. If not, then certainly two days from now for the other weekly minor hit, the one called “Tuesday Sniping”. Until either such time, it’s goodbye.
First Post: Sunday, April 28, 2013
Your head is there to move you around…
The world is filled with snap-judgers, and look where it has gotten us: message boardsz, Yelp! (Yelp! for crying out loud, literally!), large-scale economy & finance, unnecessary treatments and pillsz and statins, the villifying of whole, wholesome foods because they have fat, etc.
Keep your own counsel. Let the fullness of time reveal the truth. The earth was flat. The Pope was infallible. Bernie Madoff was a genius, and so was Ancel Keys. So were Rogoff et al. Sarah Palin was The Future of Politics. We are too quick to put faith in people whose egos are larger than their talents. We rush to embrace the guy who can talk the loudest, the one who can shout down everybody else. And so everybody goes around talking really loud and trying to shout down everybody else. Hopefully, this sort of BS retreats into the obscurity it deserves.
These snap-judgers, they would encounter Leonard Cohen on the street and dismiss him as a vagrant, probably. And he is nothing less than a musical genius, right? Really, just a genius full-stop.
Inside. It’s what’s inside that counts. The bankers and the schemers and the pols have a pretty polish on the outside; they wear the styles of the day, cut their hair the proper length, say the words carefully scripted for them on the TelePrompter. But you now know what good that has done us all. Now you know.
Bukowski dressed like a human thrift store. The privileged kidsz of today would dismiss him as a hobo. They drive around in their special foreign carsz and go to high schools here in Los Angeles named after convicted felons and imitate their TV heroes the Armenian Barbies and, were Bukowski still alive, these special kidsz would probably throw their bongwater out the window at him on the sidewalk as they screamed by.
Yes, this is what judgment has gotten us. This is what snap-judgment has led us to: crashes and panics and largeness. Nothing that good, really. Nothing. Marketing, hucksterism. Yes, we have to apologize for our part in the hucksterism. We raise our hand and call ourselves out on it. Truly, we want dearly to compete, to put good stuff out there, stuff that’s better than what is available elsewhere on TV and the Interwebsz, but we have to find a different path to it than hucksterism. We apologize for our part in the hucksterism — it was Mistah Mitchell’s charter as a fast-talking Irishman who grew up in Brooklyn and was raised in that competitive environment, and we have to step back a little from it. Granted, the underdelivering and overpromising and delays are ours entirely, and that’s not that good. Sorry. Really sorry.
Still, the stuff is good, and we use it daily, no matter when it comes out. And it does come out, eventually, it has every year, just like these posts come out every day, even if it’s not as early as we fantasize it will be or as early as you need it to be. If you have lost patience, regrets. How can we make it up to you?
Judgment = power. Understanding = giving up power.
(Hey, it was either this or Scientology?!)
N.B. This last line was an allusion (even if a penny-ante imitation) to the ending of Philip Roth’s Portnoy’s Complaint. Enjoy its humanity. You’ll also be laughing so hard you’ll cough up your spleen, if you still have your spleen. Thankfully, the spleen is a vestigial organ, unlike the liver and kidneys etc.
Thank you. Best wishesz!
Free ones: Rundown…
Frantic City 1, 3, 5, 6
Belmont 7, 9, 10
Calder 4, 5
BFHollyPark 4, 6, 9
Pay-side: Today…
Tampa 6, 8, 9
Pimlico 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9
Woodbine 9, 10
Lone Star 1, 9
Golden Gate 8
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Four being run, none being touted here this time. Regretsz!
Yesterday’s Activity: Day 2 of touting with the All-In-One V6 handicapping engine powered by the 2013 Cynthia Publishing Company par times.
Frantic City, Race 3, in which Second Bonkersmate S S Skittles, 10-1 on the morning line and 5-1 at off-time won at $13.60; First Bonkersmate Valley Stream, 7-1, just missed the place-spot. Too bad. However, the interloper, 3-1 Mythical Hero was a LifeLiner qualifier, so the exacta and trifecta were within reach: $57 (for $2) for the former, $282 (for $2) for the latter.
Race 6 there, and a straight-up tout winner via This Ain’t No Bull (!). ’Bull Luzinski was 10-1 on your morning line but a cut-in-half 5-1 when the gates opened. Oh, well — $12-even to the good there. First Bonkersmate Kissing Bandit (!) did run second, and the Hal Earnhardt-Morganna hookup paid $73 (for $2). Unfortunately, the menage-à-troisfecta completed by Moose Man Skowron was unattainable. It remained a fantasy. As those things mainly must.
Two days into Belmont now, still in possession of the maidenhead.
The ninth at Calder, and Backseat Memories (!) was your straight-up top tout, 8-1 on the morning line but this time neglected to 10-1. A good closing-type LifeLiner shape for him (65-73-80), and that’s pretty much what happened in his $23.20 victory. The cold-punch perfectamate was nowhere near, however.
Deplorable at BFHollyPark. Sorry, Inglewood! Next time!
The Opening of your 2013 Ky. Derby meet at the Churchill yesterday, and Louisville went the way of Belmont and BFHollyPark. Regrestz. It happens.
Tampa 6 had Lotta Irish winning at $20.40, with the rally projection made via his 61-63-80 LifeLiner array (“array” — God bless the Sartinez Methodism; R.I.P.) At least ’Irish was a little bet-up, to 9-1 from 8-1 on the morning. Nothing doing in the completion of the exotics world, though.
Over now to visit the Dundalk Grrrrrlz at Pimlico, the Charm City Hoochie-Coochies getting ready for their big show in the Balto. infield in three weeks. In preparation, they were rewarded if they played Harlan’s Crown in Race 3. Harlan’s Crown was 12-1 on the morning line and an even lustier 17-1 at the off. LifeLiner Speed Column score: 99! Barbara Feldon hallehoohah! Oh, Max! By now you are most likely aware that the highest possible score attainable in any LifeLiner Column is 99, not 100. This is done to remind us of the imperfection of everything, the necessary wabi-sabi. Really. No lie. In many cultures, 100 is perfection; 99 is not. So we stop at 99. Really. That’s the etiology there.
So, anyway, Harlan’s Crown was 12-1 on the morning line, 17-1 when the bell rang and before any of this went down he was the untoppable 99 in the LifeLiner Speed Column. This is how it was. It may have been a desperately close finish, but sometimes those get to go your way. Like his time: $36.40. Blues Heir was not touted at all, being a paltry 3½-1 on the morning line, but he qualified on LifeLiner and completed an entirely manageable $235 exacta.
Later there, the seventh, and we really try not to mention third-place honourable mentions, but Pimilco brings back good memories of all-out irresponsibility, a Maryland Mystique if you will, show-runner (not the Hollywood kind of show-runner — yukk!) at 22-1.
A winner in the ninth too, but at a tamer 4-1, Stormy n’ Sly ($10.80). OK. The remaining three comprising the superfecta were all LifeLiner qualifiers: $57 (for $2) for the exacta, $575 (for $2) for the trifecta (completed by 29-1 GREEN WAVE GIRL — roll, TULANE! fondly we remember you…), $2,588 (for $1) for your super-duper. For the precision-freaks needing validation, LifeLiner was 90-99-93 for ’Stormy, and he pretty much won that way, in front; place-horse Explainable had a 67-77-92, he rallied to that line, making up three positions and 3 lengths in the final furlong.
Race 8 at Hawthorne, and First Bonkersmate Luv Bandit came through at $23.40, bet-up from 8-1 on the morning. The exotics went begging.
Woodbine 4 now, and Bonkersmate Jack SPRUCE (please, you do not mind if we take license with this horsey’s name, do you? Too bad this was not a finale so that Jack SPRUCE could have been a King of the NetCapper Bullies special! Next time!). Well, yes, then, Jack SPRUCE. Jack SPRUCE was the Bonkersmate in this race, 7-1, $17.40 to win, 10-1 morning. This was a desperate race; nobody hit even 80 in the LifeLiner Speed Column, so the winning decade of scores was the 70s. (Speaking of SPRUCE, he had this crazy scheme called pace-adjusted times; it was baffling even to people who knew the definitions of the words “fractal” and “Mandlebrot”. It was a real Rube Goldberg contrivance. When we finally did V6 in Java and far away from MS-DOS V5, we had to s***can the whole idea of SPRUCE’s pace-adjusted times. Wow. What a hot mess that was. He was one of those guys who embraced complexity and the theoretical for their own sake, for the impression of being clever, even if reality and predictiveness were a far way off. Hoo-boy. Wow. A hot mess there. Wow. [Throat-clearing noise.])
Finally there was Lone Star in Tejas (Tejas!), and we have winners to report from the Sovereign Nation of Tejano. Yup.
F P Silent Eyes won the third at $13.60. She was a straight-up top tout, no Bonkersmates needed. Another 10-1 morning-line chance way-bet-down. LifeLiner pegged her at 96-99-89 and that is how she won, in front.
Also OK in Race 4, thanks to straight-up lone top tout Shezararebird, 8-1 on the morning line and also when the bell rang. Here was a king-hell closer to win, and LifeLiner characterized her as 60-72-95. Yup. That looks like a closer, all right. Wonder what the pace-adjusted timesz had to say about her. No matter. The win mutuel was $18.80, but there was no daily double offered linked to F P Silent Eyes in the previous race. Maybe your friendly neighborhood Turf Accountant Nick the Fish was able to accommodate yourself. That sort of daily double would have been in the $150-$200 range, no? However, knowing Nick and his ilk, maybe that last zero would have been lopped off to cover “administrative fees”. Or something like that.
Celebrity, fame, notoriety, TMZ, we’re not grasping for it. We wish to put in a respectable effort no matter who’s lurking. If it comes, it comes. Besides, we’ve already had enough notoriety to last several more lifepsans on the karmic wheel. So maybe notoriety will come again. You never know. But if not, well, we’re having a good time and doing what we were meant to be doing all along, probably. We do OK. We do not set the world on fire, nor do we shoot desperate blanks. It’s the middle course for now. The cream always rises, or at least it has a good and satisfying mouthfeel that endures. Either way, it’s tasty. Cheersz!
WMF Report:
Early
Hawthorne 6f
Prairie 6f
Nocturnal Submission: The last race on the continent for your Sunday evening, so the potential exists for a King of the NetCapper Bullies conflagration. How exciting. It’s Mountain 9 (10:20 p.m. EDT / 7:20 p.m. PDT), and if insomnia strikes, maybe #7 Money No Money, #8 Tia Silvia and #9 Justanothernikita can put in sufficiently drowsy appearances that your head will hit the pillow before this esteemed trio crosses the wire. It’s possible!
Thank you. Best wishes. Please join us tomorrow for the next edition of the weekly minor hit known as “Monday Boxing”. If not, then certainly two days from now for the other weekly minor hit, the one called “Tuesday Sniping”. Until either such time, it’s goodbye.
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About Steven Unite
The unofficial spokesperson for the Boys In The Backroom...