First Post: Friday, March 22, 2013

A lot of mopesz love their Call of Duty, Worlds of Warcraft, Super Mario Bros., Sonic the Hedgehog, and so might we, if we ever laid our eyes or hands on them. But before all that, there was the unquestioned Greatest Video Game of All: Circus Atari. Nowadays, we got drugged-up killers and ethnocleansing bombers and sex-hungry car thieves competing in the home-console wars. Back then, vintage early-1980s and the Atari 2600, it was all about two stick-figure clowns (ooh, scary!), a sliding teeter-totter (erm, see-saw, if you wish) and three rows of balloons — yellow, blue and red.

No shooting, no bullets, not even a joystick! Rather, it was the paddle controller that slid the teeter-totter from side to side. You wanted to land the airborne clown as close to the teeter-totter’s edge as possible; he jumped higher that way, and clearing the highest row of balloons, the red ones, earned you an extra clown. Yes, the stick-figure clowns did engage in the horrifically violent act of popping the balloons with some unseen object, perhaps a giant spike, maybe a long, sharp dagger, nobody really knows; it was the 20th century, the graphics were sketchy and back then it was OK to use one’s imagination even when the recreation was of the technological variety.

Now, for those of us with unresolved Circus Atari issues stretching back 30-plus years, we can retreat to the tomb of our pimply adolescence by playing the reasonably unchanged, gloriously low-tech tablet version of most of the Atari 2600 games. Look around, you’ll find what you need. Sure, the paddle controller allowed for more precise manipulation of the teeter-totter, but as long as you have buzzer-quality reflexes (a k a lockout-device-quality reflexes, a k a signaling-button-quality reflexes), you should do well enough on the tablet. Circus Atari #1 alwayszzzzz!

Free ones: Rundown…

Aqueduct 4, 6, 8
Gulf 1, 5, 6, 7, 8
Santa Anita 7

Pay-side: Today…

Tampa 4, 6, 8, 9
Fair Grounds 5, 6, 9
Hawthorne 8
Oaklawn 1, 2, 4, 8, 9
Turf Paradise 5
Turfway 5, 6, 8, 10

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Could be a good one after dark at Delta, Race 8, the Gold Coast. Have a wonderful time with it.

Yesterday’s Activity: Another cavalcade of mirage opportunities at the Gulf, but at least they threw back a consolation. That was in the ninth, when top selection Saint of Saints won at 19-10 (!), well bet-down from 8-1 on the morning line, won out at a sensational $5.60. Break up the Yankees! Lone Bonkersmate Heiko, 10-1 on the morning line but a reasonable 8-1 actual, completed the $41.60 exacta. We now return you to your regularly scheduled nap. Zzzzzz. (Yes, if you are an insomniac, the show-horse was OK on LifeLiner, and the triactor was $140-plus for $2. Now you should be able to get to sleep.)

Some restraint shown by the mopes at Oaklawn, Race 7, in which the touted Flower Spell went to the front and improved his position from there. Flower Spell, 8-1 on the morning line and the toteboard, paid $18.60. Bonkersmate Minnesota Thunder, 37-1, was a far-back fifth. The runner-up was only 3½-1 on the morning line and thus could not be mentioned; still, he qualified on LifeLiner at the perfecta was $76.

Also better at Turfway in the third. In that one, Park and Fly ran to that billing at a fat 10-1, same as his morning line. The $22 win-mutuel occurred in — of course — a contentious race in which Park and Fly comfortably met the LifeLiner Speed column requirements. Amazingly, the runner-up did not. What are you going to do?

WMF Report:

Early
Aqueduct 6f
Fonner 6f
Gulf 6f
Hawthorne 6f
Los Alamitos 4½f
Laurel 6f
Mountain 6f
Santa Anita 6f
Tampa 6f, 1m40y
Turf Paradise 6f

Nocturnal Submission: Delta always lingers; so it is in the fourth (7:37 p.m. EDT / 4:37 p.m. PDT), in which #7 Arousal, #1 Mynameishappy, #6 Da Wheeler are a potential Triple Stumper. …Shocking development in store for Race 3 (10:48 / 7:48) at Los Alamitos — yes, that Los Alamitos — for #9 Helimark. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Drive safely.