All right, all right, ya track-bias enthusiasts. We know you’re going to play the races today, so here goes. Instead of mysterious white powder in envelopes with no return address, we rather prefer you forward some Turkey a la King, plenty of dry white wine in the roux, eh?
All right, all right, ya pumpkin-pie aficionados. Hand over the Gaviscon. Failing that, we have the stomach pumps at the ready. Another thing that helps: Chesterfields, unflitered. Smoke if ya got ’em!
Ho-ho. Happy Hanukkah. Only a month or so of shopping days till Christmas.
Aqueduct is not a speed track now. Don’t listen to the guys who get paid by the word to babble over the airwaves. Proof: WMF 88 at 6f, WMF 81 at 1m, plus WMF 28 at 1 1/16m (T).
Beulah is down from its early-season front-fest. Sorry.
Churchill has some speed going at 7f, WMF 150, but that’s a small sample. The regular 6f trip is at WMF 110. At 1 1/16m, it’s a stingy WMF 34.
Calder has a good speed-trip on at 6f, WMF 163. Contrast that with the WMF 16 at 5f (T).
Chas. Town is still good on the lead at the elongated sprints of 6½f (WMF 157) and 7f (WMF 194).
Delta is a tossup, but it never hurts to have something in reserve for the late-stages there.
Fair Grounds, we apologize for mistakenly calling one of your major cross streets “Chantilly”. Of course, it is Gentilly. A thousand pardons.
Finger Lakes is also down in the mouth: WMF 75 at 6f, WMF 27 at 1 1/16m.
Golden Gate has, as usual, no triple-digit WMFs on the premises.
Hawthorne wants you to get up early and go at 6f, WMF 176. (N.B. This was also the case in the days leading up to Black Friday.)
Hollypark (Proper) looks similar to Golden Gate, in many more ways than simply track-trend profile.
Los Alamitos, well, uh, you can have it.
Laurel is dismal, topping out at WMF 100 at 6f.
Mountaineer shows life around two turns (WMF 150 at both 1m70y and 1 1/16m).
Penn National shades a bit toward early-speed around two turns.
Pharx boasts a bona fide two-turn speed alert! WMF 271 at the flat-mile. If that’s not enough for you, try the WMF 200 at 6f and the WMF 157 at 6½f.
Remington, like Dewars, never varies.
Turf Paradise shows a nice WMF 155 at 6½f.
Woodbine is the Remington of the Great White North, courtesy of a tragic WMF 20 at 1 1/16m and a pathetic WMF 15 at 6½f. You know how to play it.
Zia is Zed. Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.
Thank you, Quenin Tarantino.
