First Post: Friday, December 8, 2017

Mistah Drew Doughty: The Ladies Love Him

Overtime thrilla last night at the arena. Ottawa was in town to take on La-La Land in the big-league ice hockey. The hosts forged a 1-goal lead in each period, but the visitors answered within a few minutes each time, the last with 9 secs. remaining in regulation. Thirty-two seconds into the extra period, the gentleman in the snap here scored the gamewinner. La-La Land 4, Ottawa 3. It was La-La Land’s seventh consecutive win. GKG.

If you’re going to have a man-crush, it may as well be Drew Doughty, who certainly lives up to the definition of his last name. (Open the dictionary, look it up.) Certain males will man-crush on Roi Moor or Blake Farenthold or Sam Clovis, but that will lead them only to heartache and despair, not to mention a doughy (no ‘T’, get it? Not low-T, but no ‘T’!) complexion and fleshy facial features. As well, having a man-crush on Drew Doughty here will help you more easily engage with members of the oppo sex. Be a winner, man-crush on Drew Doughty, not on Alph Rankin or H. Weinstein or Chas. Rose. Thank you.

Also, they said this guy’s dentures were beginning to dislodge in public a couple of days ago:

Wild stuff. Good save keeping it all together, Don Sr.! You’re in good company: Drew Doughty missing some teeth, too! But he wears flippers instead.

(N.B. Can you imagine Reagan or Thatcher or Don Vito Corleone flapping their hands like a conductor when they wanted to get their message across? Never! The great figures of authority do not need to resort to wild gesticulation to emphasize their most important points. Observe for yourself.)

Thank you. The man-crush/dental prosthetics/oratory segment of this post is now closed. Please rinse and spit. Horseracing now!

Fleet Frontrunners
Los Alamitos Nighttime 1

Favorable Faves^*
Aqueduct 8
Chas. Town 7, 8
Delta 5
Golden Gate^† 6
Gulf 2
PennNat 5

Freakazoid Factories
Fair Grounds 3
Golden Gate^† 2, 4
Gulf 9
Hawthorne 3
Remington 9
Woodbine 2, 5

^*-morning-line faves only; denotes apprentice jockey
^†-raceday scratches unavailable at press-time; based on a 2,000-calorie diet

GKG.