First Post: Sunday, January 15, 2017

Never forget Ernest Hemingway’s famous dictum: ‘The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof, shit detector’.

Now, Papa may have been meaning something along the lines of detecting the shit in one’s own writing; after all, he also said, ‘The first draft of anything is shit’.

However, nowadays, we might not be incorrect in interpreting his words in a more global sense, as in being able to employ our critical-thinking skills as needed, which in our day and age is pretty much all the time.

For instance:

JOURNALIST #1: Mr. President-elect, is there even one thing associated with you or your family that is not the best?
MR. PRESIDENT-ELECT: No. Not one thing. Next.

Of course, Ringling Bros. (R.I.P.) is closing down because it could not possibly compete with the ongoing 3-ring jobber (Executive Tent, Legislative Tent, Judicial Tent!) debuting in Wash., D.C., on Jan. 20, 2017, and running 24/7 through Jan. 20, 2025. Or something like that. The elephants are finally getting their revenge, and it will not be pretty.

And we’ll all walk back to the Trump International in the rain.

Free ones: Rundown…

Aqueduct 8, 9
Gulfstream Park Proper 7, 9, 10
Santa Anita 4, 5, 9

Pay-side (Weekday/Weekend): Today…

Fair Grounds 8, 9
Golden Gate 3, 5, 7, 9
Oaklawn 3, 5, 9
Tampa 7, 8
Turf Paradise 4, 7, 8

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: One today at Aqueduct: too late. Regrets.

Yesterday’s Activity:

Track (Win Mutuels $20+/Gettable)

Aqueduct (1/0) — Visiting Blueshirt Rangers edged by Montreal, 5-4; Derek Stepan had a goal and an assist for Nueva Jork.

Chas. Town (1/0) — Arrest numbers rise in W.Va. Panhandle.

Delta (0/0) — Lake Chas. community cleans up for MLK Day.

Fair Grounds (2/2) — Race 3 was contentious, but only High-Octane Chancers and Progressive-Minded Eggheads could smell the perfume of Red La Rosa, a low but good-enough rating on the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis; she rallied a little to win by 4½ at $21.40. In the finale, not contentious, High-Octane Chancers and Progressive-Minded Eggheads had another low but another sufficient rating, this time on the LifeLiner Spread Column analysis, on So Nilsson; he led and then lost the lead and then miraculously fought back to win by a clean nose at $131.20 — sorry, fans of Don Trump Sr. and other assorted White Nationalists, not a typo! Good work.

Golden Gate (2/0) — Host Sharks blanked by St. Louis, 4-nil; San Jose’s Joe Thornton received a game misconduct for a major spearing penalty.

Gulf (4/1) — Race 9 was not contentious, but High-Octane Chancers and Progressive-Minded Eggheads and other Addams Family fans were not scared of Dual Qualifier Morticia (97, 84); she was forwardly placed before winning by 1 at $25.40. Good work.

Los Alamitos (0/0) — Visiting Ducks blank Arizona, 3-nil; Jonathan Bernier stopped all 26 shots he faced.

Laurel (2/1) — Players of all stripes were united on Truly Hot, a debut issue atop the V6 Betting Line at Fair Odds of 8-5 and with a connection-line/slashline readout of 12pc/14pc/15pc; she was abreast of the leaders throughout, winning by 2¾ at $20.80. Good work.

Mahoning (1/0) — Harrison Elem. in Youngstown finally set to be torn down.

Oaklawn (3/1) — Race 3 was contentious, but only High-Octane Chancers and Progressive-Minded Eggheads saluted Colonel Slewie, a field-best 95 on the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis; he had the easiest of rallies before winning by 1¾ at $32.60. Good work.

PennNat (3/0) — Visiting Flyers doubled-up by Boston, 6-3; Claude Giroux had a pair of assists for Philalala.

Keystone (1/1) — Race 7 was contentious, but only High-Octane Chancers and Progressive-Minded Eggheads could fall in with Bridget’s Big Luvy, 83 on the LifeLiner Spread Column analysis; he was reasonably close to the front before winning by 2 at $29.60. Good work.

Santa Anita (0/0) — Host Kings edge Winnipeg in OT, 3-2; Jeff Carter’s 23rd goal of the season was the gamewinner.

Sunland (0/0) — Residents frustrated by lack of progress on old Las Cruces Country Club.

Tampa (1/1) — Race 6 was contentious, but only High-Octane Chancers and Progressive-Minded Eggheads took the stroll with Dual Qualifier Awalkinthemoonlite (92, 88); she was never too far back before winning by 3 parts of a length at $24.20. Good work.

Turfway (2/1) — Race 9 was not contentious, but High-Octane Chancers and Progressive-Minded Eggheads were OK with All That for That, a competitive 84 on the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis; she was a presence throughout, winning by 7¼ at $20.20. Good work.

Turf Paradise (2/0) — See Los Alamitos commentary.

WMF Report:

Early
Aqueduct 6f, 1m70y
Fair Grounds 1m
Gulf 6f
Los Alamitos 4½f

Rally
Gulf 7½f (T)

Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Here’s to the loop-department-store sales girls riding in taxicabs through Lincoln Park.