First Post: Sunday, August 14, 2016

Too good for the bog-standard team around him

The Arse is back (see what we did there?), and already they’re behind (again!) in the table. A 7-goal thriller at The Emirates saw inhospitable guests Liverpuddle give the Gunners a nightmare start to the new English Premier League season.

Meanwhile, Arse majority stakeholder Silent Stan Kroenke did enjoy last night’s Rams win at the L.A. Mausoleum in person. Hoo-boy.

Free ones: Rundown…

Saratoga Race Course 4, 5, 6, 8
Gulfstream Park Proper 2, 3, 11
Del Mar Thoroughbred Club Pending

Pay-side (Weekday/Weekend): Today…

Arlington 3, 4, 6
Belterra 3, 6
Ellis Park 3, 8
Laurel 4, 5, 9
Monmouth 7, 8, 9
Woodbine 1, 3, 7, 8, 9

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Monmouth 9, Woodbine 8 on the pay-side.

Live fourth-choice on your morning line in Belterra 7: #9 Buckeye Bullet.

Wild-open in Emerald 8, wild-open. We bypass the top two morning-line faves and go instead with #2 Locket, #3 Ole’s Miss, #8 Guinevere’s Finale.

Yesterday’s Activity:

Track (Win Mutuels $20+/Gettable)

Albuquerque (0/0) — Stabbing incident shuts down intersection of Osuna Rd. and San Pedro Dr.

Arlington (2/0) — Host Cubs doubled-up by St. Louis, 8-4; Randal Grichuk hit a grand slam in the win.

Arapahoe (0/0) — Rockies doubled-up at Philalala, 6-3; Daniel Descalso and Tony Wolters hit homers for Colorado.

Assiniboia (0/0) — Robbery in Qu’Appelle under investigation.

Belterra (1/0) — Reds trounce host Milwaukee, 11-5; Eugenio Suarez had a 3-run HR in the win.

Canterbury (2/0) — Twins beat visiting K.C., 5-3; Robbie Grossman and Eddie Rosario each had 2 RBIs for Minnesota.

Columbus (0/0) — Inmate fight at Tecumseh State Correctional Institution.

Chas. Town (0/0) — Berkeley Co. Youth Festival comes to close.

Del Mar (3/2) — Publicly touted Brainspin was your field-best 97 on the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis in a contentious Race 9; she somehow went gate-to-wire to win by a clean half-length at $21.60, and for good measure, publicly touted Call to Congrats, only 5-1, completed your winning $133 Bonkers Exacta Box. In Race 10, publicly touted X S Heat, barely qualifying via a squeaking-by 81 on the LifeLiner Spread Column analysis, went gate-to-wire to win by 1¼ at $23.60, completing your publicly touted $270 daily double. Good work.

Ellis Park (1/1) — Publicly touted Hello People just made it to contenderhood with an 80 on the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis; he rallied a little to win by 1¼ at $37.40. Good work.

Emerald (0/0) — Mariners edge host Oaktown, 4-3; Seth Smith and Robby Cano homered for Seattle.

Fairmount (1/0) — Cards double-up host Cubs, 8-4; Randal Grichuk had a grand slam in the win.

Gillespie (1/0) — Oak wilt spreads again in Gillespie Co.

Gulf (0/0) — Host Marlins edged by White Sox, 8-7; 3 RBIs apiece for Martin Prado and Giancarlo Stanton in the loss.

Grande Prairie (1/0) — Alta. crime suspect in custody but identity is a mystery.

Hazel (1/0) — Tigers blank host Tejas, 2-nil; Casey McGehee went 4-for-5 with an RBI.

Los Alamitos (1/0) — Los Angeles whipped again by host Cleveland, 5-1; Johnny Giavotella had the RBI for Anaheim.

Louisiana (0/0) — Boil advisory issued for Cullen Water System.

Laurel (2/0) — Orioles lose at San Francisco, 6-2; Ryan Flaherty had the Balto. RBIs in a pinch-hitting appearance.

Mountain (0/0) — Weirton swears-in 4 probationary patrolmen.

Monmouth (0/0) — NJ Transit bus routes to add Brookdale access.

Northlands (0/0) — Police search for Stan Daniels Healing Centre escapee.

PennNat (1/0) — See Arapahoe commentary.

Prairie (2/0) — Missing Waukee teenager found.

Remington (0/0) — Small earthquake recorded near Medford.

Ruidoso (0/0) — Court sides with efforts to certify Hatch chilies.

Saratoga (1/0) — Car crashes into Glenville Subway shoppe.

Santa Rosa (2/1) — Race 4 was not contentious but High-Octane Chancers had a Dual Qualifier to consider in Wilannamoon (95, 80); she went gate-to-wire to win by 1¾ at $26.40. Good work.

Thistle (1/0) — See Los Alamitos commentary.

Woodbine (3/1) — In a contentious opener loaded with firsters, publicly touted experienced runner Waubaushene was not altogether terrible; he went gate-to-wire to win by 3¾ at $29.40. Good work.

WMF Report:

Early
Columbus 6f
Del Mar 5½f, 6f
Gulf 6f
Los Alamitos 4½f
Mountain 1m
Monmouth 6f

Rally
Canterbury 7½f

Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Toodles.