First Post: Sunday, February 7, 2016

Wengers & Bash

Are you ready for some fútbol?

Here’s the World-Famous The Fox and Hounds public house in Studio City, Calif. If it is not the No. 1 Arse pub in the U.S., it is undoubtedly among the top XI such establishments. Not only were its patrons ready for some fútbol today, they were up and at ’em at 5:30 a.m. PST for the Gunners’ away match against Bournemouth. This is much less bloated and ponderous than American Gridiron Throwball. Much.

There was no fetishizing of 30-second commercials for dubious widgets, no glorifying of repetitive and bombastic music with rocket-lasers, no self-important analysts with feathered hair and chemically bonded teeth talking off steam. Hyper BowL is a mating between the overelaboration of Rube Goldberg and the rampancy of Madison Ave., and their offspring is not something we are willing to shill for all that much. Regrets!

P.S. The Arse ran out 2-nil winners, courtesy of strikes by Özil and Oxlade-Chamberlain. Now the latter is a great British name for yourselves!

Free ones: Rundown…

Aqueduct 4, 5, 7, 8, 9
Gulfstream Park Proper 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13
Santa Anita 2, 3, 5, 7, 8

Pay-side (Weekday/Weekend): Today…

Fair Grounds 2, 3, 5, 6, 8
Golden Gate 8
Laurel 5
Oaklawn 1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9
Tampa 2, 3, 6, 7, 9
Turfway 2, 5, 7,

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Aqueduct 4 on the free page.

Yesterday’s Activity:

Track (Win Mutuels $20+/Gettable)

Aqueduct (4/0) — Blueshirt Rangers tie Philalala Flyers with 13 secs. remaining in regulation, get the bonus point with shootout win.

Chas. Town (2/0) — Zero for 6…

Delta (3/0) — …9…

Fair Grounds (1/0) — …10…

Golden Gate (1/0) — …11…

Gulf (3/2) — The Slump-Buster (at least alphabetically) comes in Race 2 via Glamour Queen, $22-even. ’Queen was a modest 72 in the LifeLiner Spread Column, but there were no 80+ horses in that regard; so the ’Queen was not dead. Race 9 had the publicly touted single Duffle Bag, $29.60, Dual Qualifier (81, 80) in a conventionally contentious race. As always, thank you, Gulfstream Park Proper.

Sam Houston (1/0) — Zero for 1…

Laurel (0/0) — …1…

Mahoning (0/0) — …1…

Oaklawn (3/2½) — The latest Slump-Buster came in Race 3, Banner Bill at $29.20. ’Bill was a Dual Qualifier (98, 91) who was also top in the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis. No public tout was forthcoming, however, owing to the seeming noncompetitiveness of the race. In Race 4, it was another Dual Qualifier, Great Way Lady (83, 85) coming through with the surprise, this time at $33.40. Again, no public touting because of the seeming noncompetitiveness of the race. Half a get in Race 8 with Marquee Miss, top-ranked on the Old School V6 Betting Line, Fair Odds of 3-1 in a contentious race; ’Miss was no good on either LifeLiner analysis, though. Half a get for the Original Gangster Style of Playing.

PennNat (1/1) — Uh-oh. Chippewawhitechief took the sixth at $42-straight. The race was contentious, and ’Chippewa had the best LifeLiner Spread Column analysis score in the field: 87. Yup. He went gate-to-wire. High-Octane Chancers obviously cashed in here, but surely the 87- and 89-grade gasolines would have been sufficient.

Santa Anita (2/1) — Publicly touted Bonkersmate Fourth Watch was victorious in Race 3 at $28.40. She was a debutante with a satisfactory connection-line report: 10pc/13pc/12pc. Not the best, but good enough in a contentious race.

Tampa (3/0) — Zero for 3…

Turfway (2/2) — The latest Slump-Buster came in Race 7 via Black Warts, $24. Black Warts was publicly touted as a single, owing to a good-enough 83 in the LifeLiner Spread Column. In Race 9, Vanilla Score, $20.60, was actually a Dual Qualifier (92, 80) and publicly top-touted.

Turf Paradise (0/0) — Dabbing is ridic. Modern American Gridiron Throwball is ridic. A player makes a good play and he celebrates like he just came up with a Cure For Cancer — or else discovered a strain of HGH undetectable by standard lab-testing, more like it. Where’s the modesty? What happened to not making yourself out to be The New Messiah every 45 secs.? Therefore, the only thing worth rooting for is Gary Kubiak to win.

WMF Report:

Early
Aqueduct 6f
Fair Grounds 6f
Santa Anita 6f

Nocturnal Submission: Night off…