Dinner-table intrigue, hacked-off ears in the Garden. Golgotha calling.
Free ones: Rundown…
None! Aqueduct uncoöperative the past two days, which would be yesterday, Wednesday, and today, Thursday. Regretsz! Ozone Park, eatin’ the matzoh!
Remember from university days, kid next door was from Miami, F-L-A. He could not make it home for the pesach, but his parents sent him a care package, including a couple of boxes of matzoh. The kid from Miami was smart. The matzoh never entered his mouth; however, he organized a matzoh-flinging contest on the quad, charging for entries — the goyim could not resist showing off their throwing muscle! It was a veritable foodstuff Frisbee competition!
With the proceeds, the kid from Miami booked a table at Commander’s Palace and ingested many things with leavening in them. As well, he neglected to cut the Whamm-O Corp. in on the deal.
So much for the stories of pestilence and bitter tears. Mazel!
Pay-side: Today…
Keeneland 1, 3, 5, 8
Lone Star 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9
Pimlico 1, 7, 9
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Kee 8 on the pay-side. Cheer up, Lexington. Cauley-Stein returning for another year. Did not know hipstersz had taken over Coach Cal’s bench.
Yesterday’s Activity: Nothing doing at the Big A. A period of passover for the Live Longshot recliners over at the Ozone Corona Park lately. Passing over all these marginal opportunities. Next year in Jamaica Bay!
As always, Welcome to The Home of The Runner-Up Finish, this time almost led by Bonkersmate Five Afleet in Kee 3. Five Afleet, 8-1 on the morning line and 15-1 in real life, was not well-regarded via the conventional V6 Betting Line; however, his complete rally-style LifeLiner array of 62-61-86 put him in the mix for a chance to make up good ground toward the end.
That’s what he did, closing from eight-and-last at the six-furlong mark to finish second, beaten 2 lengths.
The winner was 6-1 on the morning line, so no touting. However, this winner was sent away at 10-1 on the toteboard and was highly rated on both the conventional V6 Betting Line and on the unconventional (nobody else has anything coming close to it — this is one thing they’ll never be able to pirate or reverse-engineer, not even for $1,400! Fourteen-hundred! Better off throwing in another $100 and buying a pair of Google Glass or something!) LifeLiner Speed Column analysis.
The saver backup insurance hedge just-in-case perfector paid $318.40. The show-horse also was OK on LifeLiner, and your trizactor came back $808, for $2.
WMF Report:
Early
Aqueduct 6f
Chas. Town 4½f, 7f
Evangeline 6f
PennNat 6f
Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…
Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Next time!
KEENELAND FRIDAY> Question of the day??? What horse do I TOUT “The Haircutz” today???? Could it be Josie Carroll in the 10th??? I believe so. #2 Tesseron 12/1! I hate it she cut her hair. Had long blonde last Spring. There will be SKIRTZ TODAY & TATS to go along them. Also noticed The Skirtz, shoes, they have, what looks like SHACKLEZ attached above the ANKLEZ. What is this??? What does it represent?? Could I quiz one of them to find out?? Maybe a “Haircut” will have the answer !!!! They are like me, a head full of useless info, and a answer for anything.
Trainer for the 3 horse in the feature, W. Van Meter. New him from a baby, Could add to my HBO series with some REAL interesting adventures with that bunch. Keep trap shut for now.
Report later about the ladies shoes,The Mission for the day plus make the Cutz Nutz.
The “HONEYMAN”
Race 10: 2-4-8
big ballonsz…bop haircutsz over the head with ’em. Jab a hypodermic into Lo Duca’s neck…a Good Friday, indeed. FBI called to this IP address. Cheaters get away with it again. Please do not arrest us. It’s only a verbal strike. No ballsz!
Good touting! You have nice talent. We want in on HBO. Kary Anthopolis heads the miniseries division there. Tell him you went to Delbarton in the 1980s and were instructed by Brother Jerome & Father Peter, both O.S.B. You will get a greenlight faster than Barry Bondsz on a 3-0 count. Tyvm.
P.S. Good touting: Tesseron. You know how to interpret output properly. Tyvm. Anthopolis. Delbarton. Greenlight ahead!
Also from Delbarton, your fave midget from Game of Thornsz, Peter Dinklage. Morris County, N.J. Old Rimrock/Mendham. Morris County, N.J., almost as good as Loudoun County, Va. Had we been white and more conscientious about things, we probably would have been in the U.S. Senate by now. At least in the Gov. mansion at Drumthwacket, and you never would have heard of Fat Christie.
Fat Christie. Seton Hall. Ugh.
Anthopolis, Dinklage, Delbarton, better than Fat Christie. Ugh.