Uh-oh. All those blinking ads come at a cost…
Stay safe, junior handicappersz! Stay away from the sites with the most paid advertisementsz — unclean! Like walking through a third-world cathouse without having had a gamma globulin shot! You put your mental acuity and general well-being at high risk. Ugh. If you must slog through the Molochy Mammon of these three sites (and many other purportedly clean and wholesome handicapping sites), please do get your affairs in order first. Tyvm!
And for overall added safety, do not use search engines that start with the letter ‘g’ or the letter ‘b’. Duckduckgo.com always preferred. Along with the Opera Browser. Proper longshot mentality requires shutting off all loudmouth commentators, plus using computer tools unheard of by the hoi polloi. You can do it. Anything you can do to remove yourself from the herd, whether it’s wearing nonskinny jeans or Golden Fleece knit shirts instead of the ripoff R. Lauren brand, you should do it. Commercials on TV, radio, no good. Even those hourlong dramatical TV shows they air without commercials, the ones that are hip to watch and everybody has to watch them or else they are square — no good. Longshot mentality is a holistic approach that stems organically, from proper thought, from proper thought that you will not necessarily be swayed by the mope with the loudest voice or by hysterical screaming mopesz who insist you have to behave a certain way to belong. Paidadvertisements.com — bringing you hysterical screaming racing mopesz since 19xx.
Stay safe, my junior handicappersz. Stay safe.
Free ones: Rundown…
Aqueduct 2, 5, 6
Santa Anita 7
Pay-side: Today…
Golden Gate 7
Keeneland 2, 4, 6, 7, 9
Lone Star 1, 4, 6, 7, 8
Oaklawn 3, 10
Pimlico 1, 4, 7, 9
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Lone Star opens tonight. Yahoooooooooo! Tejas! Yee-hawwwwwwwwwooooooooo!
Uh-oh. One of ’em Triple Threat Horseys emerges in the fifth there, the Premiere: #3 Triumph and Song.
Yesterday’s Activity: Ah, yes. Once again we are besieged by bet-downs and faulty morning lines. How long, o Lord, how long?
Aqueduct Race 6 was washed off your Ozone Park turf, and the touted Woke Up Tired started at 12-1 on the morning line. Even with the late-scratches, Woke Up Tired was no better than fifth-choice on said morning line.
Nonetheless, Woke Up Tired did not have any chance at all to rise on the toteboard, getting hammered down to 11-10 and paid $4.20 up top. Thanks a lot, New York. Thanks a lot. Paidadvertisements.com, yee-haw!
Later on at the Oaklawn, Bandy Legs was touted to take Race 3, a forecast longshot at, again, 12-1 on the morning line. But in this race, there were no late-scratches, no surface-switches. So how do you explain Bandy Legs going off at 2-1? It fairly boggles the mind.
Bandy Legs was top of the V6 Betting Line and prohibitively so, at Fair Odds of 6-5. By comparison, the closest horse to Bandy Legs was at Fair Odds of 3-1 on that same Betting Line. Bandy Legs was your strong 99 horsey on the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis, and paid $6.20 up top. Yow.
Now to the one that the track-oddsmaker stiffed us on. Like the last low-morning-line horsey we moaned about, yesterday’s slippery bandit escaped from Hawthorne. In Race 2 there, Bullet From Abroad was at 5-1 on the morning line. That morning line was less than the 8-1 we require prior to touting.
It would not be difficult to imagine Bullet From Abroad going off at that 5-1 forecast, or even lower. After all, Bullet From Abroad was top of your V6 Betting Line, in a contentious race, at Fair Odds of 2½-1. As well, Bullet From Abroad was your unassailable 99 horsey on the LifeLiner Speed Column analysis.
So what happened? Yup. Bullet From Abroad went off at nearly twice his morning line, 30¢ shy of 10-1 on the toteboard. That translated to the second-longest shot in the wagering. Thanks a lot, Chicagoland! Thanks a lot! Superior information. Go back to your M. Scott McMannis seminar, because you are not really cut out to construct accurate morning-line odds. OK? Superior information. Sheesh. Chicagoland, make your morning-line odds early and often. Sheesh. Where’s Ron Santo when you need him? Flubs win, Flubs win!
Ah, yes. Bullet From Abroad went gate-to-wire to win by 5 at $21.40-straight. Could not tout him, but, again, the morning-line maker in Chicagoland has been attending too many M. Scott McMannis seminars, and has been brainwashed into believing he has Superior Information. My goodness.
There was a nice touted score, however, in the finale at Tampa. You know what that means. The winning longshot was indeed a KING OF THE NETCAPPER BULLIESZ special. Heartbleed this.
Yea, verily, Unlocked was the sole-touted horsey in Race 9 at Tampa yesterday, a first-time starter at 15-1. Unlocked was third-choice on the Betting Line, Fair Odds of 6-1, in a contentious race. Unlocked’s connection line of 12pc/11pc/15pc exceeded the minimum requirements for first-timer consideration, and at 10¢ shy of 25-1 on the toteboard, Unlocked was going to have to be played.
Unlocked shocked the world, rallying like the champion he’s on his way to becoming, winning by 5 lengths outright at a fantastical $51.80. Huzzah!
WMF Report:
Early
Chas. Town 4½f
PennNat 6f
Santa Anita 6f
Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…
Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Auf wiedersehen.
MOPEZ> How descriptive, it fires the imagination, makes one Excited!!!! You are the REAL Webster, NOT Dexter ! Finally, I get to join the MOPEZ FRIDAY. Also didn’t know I was the only one to mute the TV. Don’t watch TV> RESEARCH!! One may even go to the ST. GEORGE HOTEL for a 2 dollar haircut or trade my COMMODITY CHEESE for one. Fridays KEE. card has good possobolities {how’s that word}??? Will try & report back not necessarly the winnings or losing, but the SKURTZ, MOPEZ, HAIRCUTZ,and General Gripin & Growlin.
There may be hope for the BEEZ YET. The KEE. card is excitin today!! Report to follow. Hope There is money to fly to TEJAS for a Steak & trip back home! Think Positive.
The “HONEYMAN”
Thank you. We share in your excitement. We were sure you touted that $53-horsey (another one!) to the haircuts on Sunday. That was that My Afleet issue.
More important, however: How you holdin’ up over there? Did you console that Poythress kid after the big letdown on Monday night? How was it to spend the evening with all those rioters on Saturday night? I thought I saw you hanging from a lamppost in one of the grainy videosz. How is Lexington in the Commonwealth of Kentucky getting on? Do you send honey to Coach Cal? When he comes to Los Angeles in a few months, do you want us to deliver honey to him? On the other hoof, kindly do not ask us to send any to Jimmie Buss. Ugh.
Again, hope you are well. Thank you for your humanity.