First Post: Saturday, March 1, 2014

Drip, drip, drip…

Happy Saturate Saturday!

Free ones: Rundown…

Aqueduct 5, 7, 10
Calder / Gulf Calder 4, 6, Gulf 2, 8, 10
Santa Anita 3, 7, 9

Pay-side:

Fair Grounds 3, 5, 6, 7
Hawthorne 6
Sam Houston 5, 7, 9, 10
Laurel 4, 9
Oaklawn 3, 4, 7, 8, 9
Sunland 7, 11
Tampa 6, 8, 10
Turfway 3, 4
Turf Paradise 3, 5, 7

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: GP 10 on the free page.

On the pay-side it’s OP 8, Tam 8, Hou 7.

In Hou 6, it’s Serge Ibaka Time via #1 Ibaka.

At sloppy Santa Anita, the Grade III Santa Ysabel goes to #2 Anniversary Kitty — FYI, that’s Race 8.

Must eat chalk in DeD 9, the Pelican: #5 Ide Be Cool can’t lose, can he? Jared Leto?

Yesterday’s Activity: All right, all right, ya Albert Chu-hatersz! You can’t despise this guy for his style. After all, he’s not even the first mope to employ that kind of off-putting strategy; others of his random and unpredictable ilk have come before, most notably this guy:

http://www.j-archive.com/showplayer.php?player_id=861

Give this Abraham Chu fella another 10 wins and then maybe he will deserve this Madden-level of scorn. And even before Anthony Chu & Dave Maddensz, there was this mope:

http://www.j-archive.com/showplayer.php?player_id=534

So, please, please, please give him a little peace, love and understanding for the time being.

As for ourselves, we hate him because — because of him — we are no longer our mother’s favourite player in J! history. ‘See, why didn’t you play like Alfred Chu?’

Even our brother is nightly reminding us of the Andrew Chu juggernaut. ‘Brilliant playa! Brilliant! Andrew Chu #1 alwayszzzz!’

Thanks a lot, Alphonse Chu! Thanks a lot!

All right, all right, ya Tralfamadoriansz! Ya Montana Wildhack-loversz! Rumors of big scores yesterday are being confirmed today, right now. No time-travel necessary. So it goesz.

On the free side, it was good at the Aqueduct, Race 6, courtesy of Winter Games, maybe a little late to honor his namesake, but just in time for your Friday.

Winter Games, second-choice on your conventional V6 Betting Line at Fair Odds of 3½-1, also did well enough on the vaunted LifeLiner Speed Column analysis: 81. He rallied the way his complete LifeLiner array of 71-74-81 suggested, and won straight by 1½-1 lengths. He paid $26.80 up top, better than predicted by his morning line of 8-1.

The next three finishers were LifeLiner-eligible: $210 perfecta, $1,462 trizacta (for $2).

Throwaway 5-1 winner at Hawthorne, Race 4: Princess Dubai.

As always, Welcome to The Home of The Runner-Up Finish, this time nearly led by Bobbie Dan in Race 3 at Sam Houston Race Park & Equine Emporium. Bobbie Dan was 8-1 on the morning line and better than six times that in real life: 52-1!

Bobbie Dan was one of many LifeLiner Speed Column candidates in the race, a race won by the 1-10 fave, 1-10 fave!

Bobbie Dan nearly made them all pay, finishing second, beaten three parts of a length, at the aforementioned 52-1; 1-10 over 52-1 for a $40 saver perzacta.

Finally, over to the finale at the Tampa, for one of ’em King of The NetCapper Bulliesz specialsz. Sometimes in life, you got to tout five horseys in a single race. Not always, of course, and surely not often, either, but every now and again that’s the situation as it presents itself to yourself upon staring at the numbersz.

So it was here at the Tampa, finale, Race 10, eight horseys, why not tout five of them? What’s the worst that could happen — you wind up as a skeleton in the street and have to grab a ride from fat Hank Goldberg upon leaving the track!

The second of the horseys touted, also known as the First Bonkersmate, was named One Hot Pairadice, 20-1 on your morning line and indistinguishable from any of the other experienced maidens in a field devoid of demonstrated talent. None of these horseys who had previously run could get out of the 60s in the LifeLiner Speed Column! Very bad, very bad, superbad!

One Hot Pairadice made the front, harassed for some parts of the race but clear by 4 with 660 feet to run. Come on, you Jonah! He held off the even-money (even-money!) fave, another of the indistinguishable experienced maidens, by a melting neck and paid $51.20 for the victory.

In the annals of turf history, a forgettable event; but from the perspective of anarchy on the toteboard, a race that played-out upside-down.

Extra for experts again at Fonner. Grand Isle, Neb., home of the early-meet comebacking longshots! Check it! Except that they have decided to cancel racing there this weekend. Cornhuskers have to prepare properly to watch the Academy Awards telecast from soggy Southern California! Getting ready for a Nebraska sweep for Alexander Payne and Bruce Dern and June Squibb. Go, Woodie!

WMF Report:

Early
Chas. Town 4½f, 6½f, 7f
Fair Grounds 6f
Sam Houston 6f
Keystone 7f
Sunland 6f, 1m
Turfway 6f

Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Bye-bye.