First Post: Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Ready for Takeoff!

Temperamental birdies! In this instance, because their root system is restrained by the confines of the potting, they bloom only sporadically. We are awaiting an appearance shortly!

Take heart, East Coast. You’ll be getting our warm weather by Sunday, temps in the mid-60s°F over there. Pass the tanning butter!

Free ones: Rundown…

Aqueduct 4, 7, 8

Pay-side: Today…

Hawthorne 8
Laurel 7
Tampa 4, 8, 9
Turf Paradise 6, 8

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Man, they like running the third race of the day at the Big A as a stakes race! Today, we would have been suckered into the hapless #6 Geaux Mets as a Triple Threat Horsey. No good, Eddie Kranepool, no good, Kennie Boswell, no good, Bob Apodaca!

And now a word from Manufacturers Hanover…and Rheingold. Germans good at brewing, but now any half-bright hipster from Park Slope can fetishize BEER. Go snapchat yourselve, ya hipstersz. Go instagram yourself.

Yesterday’s Activity: Unfortunately, we were less than half-bright, and not even a quarter-bright. At least we don’t talk in that nasally told-ya-so voice or prop up ironical eyewear. Go instagram yourselves, ya hipstersz! Why do you think we went cold turkey off This American Life? Ugh. Insufferable host! Radiolab forever! Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me #1 alwayszzzz! Jean Shepherd/Arthur Godfrey snuffly voice >>>>>>> insufferable hipster radio-host voice!

WMF Report:

Early
Tampa 6f
Turf Paradise 5½f

Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Goodnight now.