First Post: Thursday, July 11, 2013

Brush up your Shakespeare. He’s a slightly better writer than E. L. James or Nicholas Sparxx. Master Shakespeare and the human condition becomes much less perplexing to yourself. Ecclesiastes and Shakespeare never vary. They are good guides to the Right Way of Living. Mostly.

So, it pays to brush up your Shakespeare; aside from the aesthetics of it, the practical upshot is that you never know when it may come in handy on a televised quiz programme. Everybody wins.

A good refresher can be found here:

http://shakespeare-essential.com/speeches/

This is the so-called Champions League of essential Shakespeare speeches. Some of these you will be encountering for the first time; others will bring back warm or hateful memories, depending on your academic history. Either way, despite the syntactical differences between Elizabethan Drama and Twitter, you probably will see that the fundamental drives of the species homo sapiens are mainly intact. Probably you know whose side we are on.

Besides, it’s better to compete with Shakespeare than with…

Free ones:

Belmont 3, 6, 9
BFHollyPark 2, 7, 8

Speaking of free ones, don’t forget to head on over to your friendly local 7-Eleven for your complimentary frozen beverage today, 7/11! Also, in the interest of fairness, an enthusiastic shout-out to our Armenian Brothers in the Washington, D.C., area and their rival 6-Twelve chain of convenience stores. You can try to score the five-finger discount today at 6-Twelve, but you did not hear it from us. You may be deported to Yerevan, where the correctional facilities dish out lavash & water.

Finally, on the subject of non-quiescently frozen beverages, since they are free today, why not try spiking them with a little Everclear or else some low-quality absinthe? Now is the time! A toast…to your health!

Pay-side: Today…

Arlington 3, 6, 7, 9
Colonial 4, 5, 6
Delpark 2, 3, 6
Louisiana 7, 8

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Delpark 5 is the Stymie, and #8 Koh I Noor looks best.

Yesterday’s Activity: Rare payoff from the “Nocturnal Submission” feature, courtesy of touted Miss Scout, even-money on the Betting Line and with a LifeLiner array of 77-77-99. She was 8-1 on the morning line and a dime below 12-1 on the toteboard. She won in a relative laugher (nearly 4 lengths to the good at the wire on the turf), and the win mutuel was $25.80.

Now, it wouldn’t be “Yesterday’s Activity” without a cursory review of the heartbreakers. So we go to WO 3, in which top-touted Lord of Greatness did not quite live up to that billing; rather, it was more like “Knave of Nearly-Was”. Anyway, the Lord-Knave was 10-1 on the morning line and 15-1 at the off. Eight horses ran, and Lord-Knave bested six of them. Not too bad! The winner was a LifeLiner qualifier, and the exactor returned CA$124 (for CA$2).

Small 2½-1 winner in Suf 3: Ventura Bar, $7-even; all this from a morning line of 15-1. Thanks a lot, E. Boston! Thanks a lot! The exacta and trizacta were all LifeLiner qualifiers: $177 (for $2) on the latter. Ugh.

The bang-up race for your Wednesday came in the sixth at Delpark. In it, First Bonkersmate Top Partner, 30-1 on the morning line and 11-1 at the off, closed to score at $24.80. Top-touted Harmony Bay, 20-1 morning and 6-1 actual, led most of the way (the only 80-plus ratings in the field in LifeLiner Early & Pace), completing your winning $108 Bonkers Exacta Box. What?! Thanks a lot, Stanton! Thanks a lot!

WMF Report:

Early
Canterbury 6f
Delpark 6f
Evangeline 6f
Finger 5½f
PennNat 1m

Nocturnal Submission: Stayin’ up late for the finale at Minnehaha (11:56 p.m. EDT / 8:45 p.m. PDT) for the appropriately named #4 Thelatestthing. …Another appropriately named issue (at least for us) comes courtesy of EvD 9 (10 / 7): #3 Social Misfit. …PrM 3 (8:23 / 5:23) appears to be a complete doozie, with #9 Pack Your Bags, #5 From the Ashes and #2 Highest Degree comprising your obligatory nightly Triple Stumper. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. So long now.