First Post: Friday, August 31, 2012

Next week’s unscheduled headliner: Rob’t Redford in the performance of a lifetime, as the ghost of J. Danforth Quayle.

What was THAT?

Still one of the best speeches at any political convention was Gov. M. Cuomo’s in 1984. Yes, he was a ineffectual, limp-wristed governor. But his preaching skills were beyond compare. He hit you in the gut in a good, robust, Italian way, not like Rt. Rev. Falwell or Most Rev. Patrick Robertson. Cuomo’s delivery that night was opera in the guise of oratory, not like these soulless randroids taking over today.

The problem with the randroids is that, OK, let’s say they take over the world the way they want. All the moochers have magically departed this mortal coil. Then what? That would have made for the best novel of all, too bad Alicia Rosenbergersteinowicz or whatever her real name was, didn’t live to write it.

In the third and final novel of all time, they would have congregated at Glitter Gully or whatever it was called. After a 900-page congratulatory speech from Howard Galt, that’s when the real action starts. They literally let that greed gene take over and begin plotting all manner of devices to feed upon each other. Literally. They could make a zombie epic out of it. Vampires and zombies, with a few advertising executives thrown in. At the end, on the barren landscape, all that remains is a 15-mile-high dollar sign. Too bad they didn’t live to see it.

Free ones: Rundown…

Saratoga Race Course 1, 4, 5, 6, 8
Calder 5, 6, 9
DMTC 2, 4, 5, 7

Well, Swampatoga. What’s four more days of a few extra dollars on the bonfire? Mebbe we’ll grab a late consolation somewhere. We appreciate your inhospitability in 2012.

Pay-side: Today…

Monmouth 5, 6, 7, 8
Woodbine 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10
Ellis Park 1, 5, 6, 8, 9
Arlington 1, 4, 6, 8
Louisiana 2, 3, 8
Remington 1, 4, 7, 8, 9

WMF Report:

Canterbury 5½f
Columbus 6½f
Emerald 6f
Evangeline 1m
Los Alamitos 4½f
Marquis 6f
Mountain 5f, 6f
PennNat 1m
Keystone 6f
River 6f

Saratoga Race Course 1 1/16m (T)

Nocturnal Submission: All out in Minnehaha now, Race 8 at the Kanterbury Kard Klub & Trading Post (11:18 p.m. EDT / 8:18 p.m. PDT), and #2 Sunset Kid can take it for this evening’s rising of the Blue Moon. …Layoff-returnees galore in the sixth at Chas. Town (9:44 / 6:44), but #8 Nowhere Early and #7 Molinaro Lovefort can come back best. …Golden Gate, Race 7 (9:45 / 6:45), for #5 Alexandre Sogn, FC Barcelona. …Exhibition in Canada, the seventh (9:20 / 6:20), in which #4 Random Heights and #1 Dearest Princess are not out of it. …After that, a special 3½f race there (9:50 / 6:50): #10 Bosco’s Qwik, #11 Veni Vidi Vici. …The third at Presque (6:15 / 3:15) finds #5 Noble Charlotte and #4 Blushandbashful in with a shout. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. So long.

About Steven Unite

The unofficial spokesperson for the Boys In The Backroom...
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