First Post: Friday, January 27, 2012

Being in California, home of the plebiscite, we are frequently bombarded, as we approach the entry of the grocery store, say, by all manner of petitioners.

For example, yesterday it was the Gay Rights Movement folks. “Would you like to support gay rights?” they ask rather politely.

We’re so inured to it by now that we have to come up with something equally polite, on the surface, anyway, but much more sinister beneath.

Hence, the quick response to “Would you like to support gay rights?” becomes, “Ooh, surry. I’m a Latter-day Saint” Or, if you’re in a real hurry: “No. LDS here!”.

Another perfectly acceptable response would be, “Love to, but I need to check with my fellow brothers in the Knights of Columbus first”.

Or maybe they’re asking you to support rights for undocumenteds. The best answer is something like, “I think that would jeopardize my membership in the John Birch Society”.

Then there’s the ones that are not politically motivated, like “Sign up for a free chiropractic exam today! Right now!” In that case, it’s best to answer, “I just had spinal fusion last week. Too bad”.

One more polite answer that fits practically any petitioner is: “I’m new to your country”.

In short, there’s no need to go all Fix News or MSNBC on innocent people all the time. Why be rude? You gotta do it with style!

Free ones: Rundown…

Aqueduct 3, 5, 9
Gulf 8, 9, 10
Santa Anita 1, 3, 8

Pay-side: Weekend. Today…

Laurel 4, 6, 9
Tampa 3, 7, 8
Fair Grounds 4, 5, 7, 8, 9
Oaklawn 3, 7, 9
Turfway 3, 9, 12
Sam Houston 5, 8, 9

WMF Report:

Delta 5f
Gulf 6f

Nocturnal Submission: PennNat’s ninth (9:17 p.m. EST / 6:17 p.m. PST), has #1 Stolen Parcel ready to deliver the upset. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Bye-bye.

About Shoutoute

The unofficial spokesperson for the Boys In The Backroom...
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