First Post: Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Back on the Market!

The Best of the Best

Today we bring you the “Entertainment Tonight” edition of “First Post”, which is just as well, since there’s no free ones for you.

The lovely and talented Zooey Deschanel returns to the dating wars, but kindly take a number. Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot! Maybe she’ll put on those geeky glasses for you someday. She looks like she’d be game for a trip to the track.

And speaking of geeks, here we are for your 2011 Jeopardy! Tournament of Champeens. It’s 15 of the top players from the last 18 months or so, with nary a Watson or a sour-faced Okie Sooner in sight. If you ever want to do something pretty cool that is genuinely unique (not made up by overoptimistic self-importance, right, rebbe?) and something you can lure the likes of Zooey Deschanel with, make it to the TOC as a participant. At least that’s what we hear. Even if you crash out hard in the quarterfinals, you undoubtedly will be immortalized by such reputable third-party sources as Wikipedia and Youtube, not to mention the show’s Website of Record, the J! Archive.

That said, we root enthusiastically for the physics-teaching cruciverbalist Sir Joon Pahk. It’s always easy to cheer for the players who know how to smile and have a good time in front of the cameras.

Free ones: None today. Check back tomorrow for a full slate. Regrets!

Pay-side: Last chance saloon to get in on the up-to-the-minute email extravaganza for the Large Trophy of the Procreators. Rundown…

Churchill 6, 8, 9, 10
Laurel 5, 7, 9
Delpark 3, 6, 7
Hawthorne 4, 6, 8
Woodbine 1, 2, 3, 5
Remington 1, 5, 6

WMF Report: Decent variety for your Wednesday.

Speed
Beulah 5½f, 6f
Chas. Town 6½f
Delpark 6f
Laurel 1m
PennNat 6f
Portland 5½f
Suffolk 6f

Nocturnal Submission: Delta again, this time Race 7 (9:30 p.m. EDT / 6:30 p.m. PDT), where #1 Gaston would not let Alphonse go first, if only there were an Alphonse in this race! …Now to PennNat for its fourth (7:13 / 4:13), and #8 Roll Dem Bones can result in boxcars, as can #4 Kissin Bobbi. …Two races later there, Race 6 (8:04 / 5:04), another Bonkers-type situation, this time involving #4 Ava’s Charm and #7 Princess Susan M. …Finally, there’s the ninth (9:17 / 6:17), and #10 Fairfax Lion can prevail. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye.