First Post: Saturday, February 9, 2013

Anthrax! The Good Kind!

In case we haven’t mentioned it, it’s PILOT SEASON. Though they are working only for scale, the young starlets now have the means to shop here. It’s time to act!

Free ones: Rundown…

Sunland 10
Gulf 2, 4, 10, 11, 12
Santa Anita 1, 4, 5, 9

Pay-side: Today…

Turfway 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Tampa 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Oaklawn 3, 4, 7
Sam Houston 4, 8, 10
Golden Gate 7
Laurel 5, 8, 9

Now, we don’t normally scream like sissies like they do on the Yelper! reviews or at those other Internet fora, but truly, look at this card today at the Turfway. For the first time, the Roman numeral X (which signifies the Arabic number 10, in case you are too far removed from grammar school) had to be assigned to quantify all the Bonkers Box opportunities. Screaming sissies on Yelper! Screaming sissies on popular horseracing Interwebsz fora. Who’s to say they might not be right? What chance have any of us got?

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: On the free page for your lookie-loo pleasure are GP 10 & 11 and SA 9. As well, the upstart Sun 10. Sunland!

Pay-side features are GG 7, Lrl 8 and Tam 8.

Otherwise, hard to go against the favored #9 Rose to Gold in the M. Wash. S. at Hot Spgs, Ark.

Yesterday’s Activity: All right, all right, ya Longshot Louiesz! Sometimes you have to settle for the runner-up spot. And if ya don’t like it, you can take up something safe like Acapulcan cliff-diving or else sitting in the dressing-room area of your local Anthraxpologie store and pretending you are waiting for your significant other when in reality you are merely scoping out all your potential Valentines before Thursday rolls around. Yeah. Granola, au naturel. Anthrax!
For a location near you: http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/help/store_locator.jsp. Praise be to Allah for Anthraxpologie. Allah akbar.

Now, famewhoring or narcissism? Certain public handicappers on this circuit — they all come from a certain background, if you can hear the dogwhistle we’re blowing, A CERTAIN BACKGROUND — how do they do it? Where does this remarkable talent for self-promotion come from? It all boils down to The Death of Modesty in The Modern Age; maybe 20 years ago, it was possible to not even know about them, to be happy in this life. But nowadays, the weapons at their dispersal are merciless. No one gets away. W.B. Yeats was right, as he frequently is. We shake our heads in woe. It’s enough to make one want to GO GAULT.

Runner-up finishes yesterday: GP 9 Transgression 30-1, SA 3 Gittel 12-1
OP 7 Proud Twister 41-1, TuP 9 Shakitsugaree 21-1. That’s a lot of heartbreak! The antidote for that? Anthrax!

There was an 11th-hour mercy from the gods of the parimutuels in, fittingly, Race 11 at the TP. There, the Second Bonkersmate Ride in the Park, 12-1, won and top selection Copper Cascade completed your winning $125 (only!) perzacta. Considering the 9-10 fave was nowhere on the board, the $125 seemed low. But beggarsz cannot be choosers, especially not when Closing Time rolls around, right? Anthrax!

WMF Report:

Early
Fair Grounds (!) 6f (WMF 150)
Gulf 6f
Sunland 6f
Turfway 1m (!)
Turf Paradise 6f

Rally
Santa Anita 1m (T)

Nocturnal Submission: If the Anthrax doesn’t work out for you this afternoon, maybe Chas. Town 9 (10:52 p.m. EST / 7:52 p.m. PST) can provide some comfort in the form of #10 Swing Even. …Likewise, #3 Powered by Stewie has a chance; he appears in the eighth at Delta (9:52 / 6:52). …Can they keep it together in spite of the weather at the end of the tether that is made of leather at The Feather in The Heather known as PennNether? Find out in Race 5 (7:49 / 4:49), in which #5 Relentless Repent and #6 Shamrock Ruler seem better. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Bye-bye.