First Post: Friday, October 12, 2012

Belt-way base-ball! Belt-way base-ball! Let’s go O’s! Let’s go Natsz! Do it for the Nattie Bo! Do it for the giant foam presidents!

Free ones: Rundown…

Belmont 2, 6, 7, 8, 9
Calder 3, 6, 10
Santa Anita 6, 7, 8

Pay-side: Today…

Keeneland 1, 4, 5, 7, 10
Woodbine 4, 5, 7
Laurel 4, 5, 9, 10
Meadowlands 1, 3, 4
Hawthorne 2, 3, 7, 8
Remington 1, 2, 5, 6

Today’s Stakes Pageantry: All right, all right, ya Euclid Ave. Clevelandersz! Mild upset in store for Race 6 at Thistle, the Juvenile: #10 Pyrite Green.

Additional longshot activity in the next event, Race 7, the Ohio Distaff. It’s down to #7 Willa Wando and #9 Aggressive Elegance. Oh, Doctor, we got a good one!

But those two are nothing in comparison with the the culmination of the card, the true feature on your afternoon, the finale you’ve all been waiting for, a buildup so awe-inspiring not even 1970s Vince McMahon could do it promotional justice — this is Irish Paddy Baron plus Baron Miguel Sicluna and S.D. Special Delivery Jones (McMahon again: “look at him use that KO-KO-NUT!”) put together. Please, ladies and gentlemensz, we now turn our undivided attention to the grand spectacle of all equine events for this Friday, the whole of the world cannot wait for the contesting of Race 8 at No. Randall, Ohio, now, the Endurance. After all that, it can only be a matter of which special Thoroughbred to select, and even then this conflagration of the hippodrome racers at a full gallop will not so easily be deduced to one lonely entrant. Forsooth, this is a horserace so gigantical and so supremely important that not one but two Buckeye-bredsz must be mentioned. Please, now, kindly hold steady while we reveal their identities: #4 Thats a Heckofacat, #9 Pyrite Personal.

Yeah.

WMF Report:

Speed
Belmont 1m
Finger 6f
Mountain 6f
PennNat 6f
Santa Anita 6f
Thistle 6f
Zia 6f

Nocturnal Submission: Coming. Refresh the page. After 1:45 p.m. PDT. Posted early to avoid any possible accusations of redboarding Race 6 at Thistle. Tyvm.

And…we’re…back. OK. If you survive the last three at the Thistle, the ninth at the Albuquerque (7:34 p.m. EDT / 4:34 p.m. PDT) has the proper makeup for #2 Mr. Scarface to do some quality hoofing, and you don’t have to be an Al Pacino fan (though you should be) or a lover of Tony Montana (less so) to take part. …In the seventh at Northlands (10:48 / 7:48), #5 Scotia’s Myst can roll in. …For added parimutuel excitement, you need only wait another 28 mins. from that one, the eighth (11:16 / 8:16), for #6 Rolletti and #2 Guitars N Cadilacs. …Retama, the second (8:12 / 5:12), finds #2 Misty Visions in with a shout. …

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Later!