First Post: Friday, August 17, 2012

The Traitorous Robbing van Purse$tring$

Hey! Wake up! English Premiership begins early tomorrow! Sorry, Arse fansz! Looks like another season of teaser-stallion status, where fourth in the table is a satisfactory performance!

We’ll all suffer through it together. Jay-Z, Mo Farah, Piers Morgan, Spike Lee, Nick Hornby, Lanfranco Dettori, the One-Eyed Pug & Her Handlersz and all the rest of us. Come on, you Goonersz! One-nil to the Arsenal!

Free ones: Rundown…

Saratoga Race Course 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10
Calder 5, 7, 8, 10, 11
DMTC 3, 5, 6

Pay-side: Today…

Monmouth 4, 6, 10
Woodbine 1, 7, 8, 10
Ellis Park 4, 5, 6, 10
Arlington 3, 5, 6, 7, 8
Louisiana 2, 5, 7
Remington 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

WMF Report:

Speed
Arapahoe 5½f, 6f (WMF 850)
Assiniboia 6f
Canterbury 6f
Ellis Park 6f
Evangeline 1m
Fairmount 6f
Exhibition 6½f
Los Alamitos 4½f
Marquis 6f
Mountain 6f
Monmouth 6f
River 6f, 1m70y
Thistle 6f

Rally
Saratoga 1m (InT) (WMF 21)

Nocturnal Submission: Two for the Rocky (Mountain) Road at Arapahoe, Race 12 (7:35 p.m. EDT / 4:35 p.m. PDT), where #5 Makinyourmark and #3 Ex Tremely Cool can scoop up the surprise. …Nebraska is home to Columbus, which runs its eighth race (10:32 / 7:32) with #1 Rain Feather and #3 Goatfeathers looking to cap a wild closer. …Fairmount has a good Race 2 (8:57 / 5:57), and #1 Upper Class Posh will try to win it for Missus Victoria Beckhamsz. …Another pair for the punters at Exhibition, B.C., where the second (10:43 / 7:43) contains #1 Aly’s Bobcat, #4 Second Eclipse. …Friday night, Mountain, what else is there? Race 9 (10:20 / 7:20) brings hope for #4 Midnight Abbey and #6 Waltzing Time. …Presque’s second (5:50 / 2:50): #9 Electric Venus. …

All right, all right, ya horsey-loversz! Save some for later!

Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. So long.