First Post: Thursday, March 15, 2012

Luck, what’s that? Never seen it here in these parts.

Television used to be a wholesome beast. Who can forget the positive stories conveyed in such top shows as Love Boat and Fantasy Island, not to mention Charlie’s Angels and the original Hawaii Five-O. The morals were simple, honest: know your role, appreciate faith, hope and charity, don’t ask for too much. Most important, the old business about “crime doesn’t pay” was always upheld.

Now what’s on the screen? Everything’s gone dark! It’s a little bit base, really. Everyone has to outsmart everyone else. Everyone’s bigger than the game itself. And it’s all done with a smirk and a sneer. There’s no moral authority behind it, no original Steve McGarrett. Violence and evil prevail, and especially crime.

We here are outdated and hopelessly behind the times. Never seen South Park. Never seen Mad Men. Never seen House or Californication or Weeds. Never seen Dexter the Molexter or Lady GaGA Mounts the Lardassians As Flava Flav & Don Trump Look On in Abject Pleasure, Sponsored by Goldman Sachs. We are culturally tone-deaf! We are square and unhip! Power to the people!

On the other hoof, Jeopardy!, good show, been on 28 years, plus more if you count the Fleming years. Wheel of Fortune, good show, been on even longer. People work hard enough in their daytime lives; who wants to psychoanalyze and chase down every last plot twist or devious manipulation during what’s supposed to be their leisure hours? You need a degree in aberrant psychology and a certificate in deviant behaviour to be able to watch television nowadays. No, thanks.

Besides the J! and the WOF, the Vince D’Onofrio episodes of L&O: CI were watchable. D’Onofrio’s Goren character had a good sense of humour but was never larger than the game, never bigger than the case. And for a detective, he actually had a fine sense of humor; it was wholesome and winning, not ironical or self-congratulatory. Some of those scenes in CI where he starts playing tennis in his trenchcoat while on an investigation or high-fiving high-school kids in the hallways, well, that’s quality TV right there.

As well, ALF. Seriously. Funny but not snarky. Funny but not self-importantly funny. We are not smart enough to guile or misdirect. ALF entertained us. “Gimme four!”

Free ones:

Aqueduct 2, 7, 9
Gulf 1, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10
Santa Anita 4, 6, 7

Pay-side: Today…

Laurel 7, 8, 9
Tampa 3, 6, 8, 10
Fair Grounds 5, 6, 8
Oaklawn 1, 2, 9
Golden Gate 4, 5, 7

WMF Report:

Speed
PennNat 6f

Nocturnal Submission: Night off.

Thank you. Best wishes. Take care now.