An Opportunity to Involve the Left Foot
Aha! That thing toward the left there. What is that? It is called a clutch pedal, and its presence signifies an automobile equipped with a manual transmission. Manual transmission, what’s that?
Like the hefty fliptop cigarette lighter and the stylish one-handed topspin backhand in tennis, the manual transmission harks back to a time when the simple competencies were a sign of good taste and breeding, when being clever had no ulterior motive tainted with snark, when not every reaction was freighted with ugly indignation. Yea, verily, the manual transmission, Dick Cavett, William F. Buckley Jr., food & drink without pretense, without fetishizing them. Where have all those things gone?!
Practically, the manual transmission remains a necessity for the up-and-down winding canyon roads of Los Angeles County. There are few punches better than downshifting on demand and then pushing the throttle toward the floorboard to obtain that extra oomph in the passing lane to zoom past an MTA bus or churning cement mixer chugging up Laurel Canyon leaving Studio City toward Hollyweird.
Alternatively, it remains a handy option to be able to ease back to neutral while coasting down a hill to hypermile via the popularly and ethnically (or culturally) insensitive procedure known as “Jewish overdrive” or as “hillbilly overdrive”.
Still, there are those wondrous times (not many!) when the freeways are not clogged and when the availability of a sixth gear would be welcome. Ah, next time!
Free ones: Rundown…
Belmont 5, 8, 9
Calder / Gulf Calder 4, Calder 7, Calder 8, Gulf 5, Gulf 6, Gulf 8
Santa Anita 3, 7, 8
Pay-side: Today…
Golden Gate 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9
Hawthorne 2, 4, 7, 8
Keeneland 3, 4, 6, 8, 9
Turf Paradise 5, 8
Woodbine 4, 6
Today’s Stakes Pageantry: Bel 8, SA 8 on the free page.
Kee 8, WO 6 on the pay-side.
That leaves Woodbine 8, and that one doesn’t look too exciting.
Yesterday’s Activity: Terrible. Touting six horseys in a race and managing only a second-place effort to show for all that. Perhaps you have heard us mention it before; if not, we scream it here again: Welcome to The Home of The Runner-Up Finish!
This would be Belmont 6 yesterday, thanks to Third Bonkersmate Chang’s Secret. This race was an absolute mess, and how the 8-5 fave prevailed in a field of 12 woeful runners, well, it still is hard to accept. The ol’ ’Chang-er went off at 33-1 from 15-1 on the morning line and nearly got there, beaten half a length for all the money. Thanks, ’Chang-er. Thanks a lot!
Additional close-call heartache via Keeneland 6, in which Bonkersmate Sweet Nkosi, 30-1 on the morning line (as an aside, there are some authorities so-called who automatically eliminate 30-1 horseys on the morning line; summarily dismiss them!) and 10¢ shy of 35-1 on the toteboard, stayed in touch all the way around and looked like a potential winner in the straight. Alas, it was not to be (unrequited love!) and ’Nkosi had to settle for second, beaten only 1 length.
However, your 6-1 upset winner did qualify strongly on LifeLiner speed, and the consolation exacta was nice compensation. Thank goodness for the parimutuel mediators! Yes, this backup exacta, 6-1 over 34-1 in a nine-horse field, returned $437. That’s the best of a no-win situation.
To further spice things up, the top-touted issue in this race, Crookedpathtoglory (!), ran third to finish the $3,445 trifecta (for $2). The favorite ran fourth, was gettable on LifeLiner Speed, and the superzacta paid $9,325 (again for $2).
Similar situation in Race 8 there, where the two touted horseys — Bonkersmate Eden Prairie and top offering My Option — completed the trifecta in the second- and third-spots. Unfortunately, this race’s 11-1 winner escaped us. Sorry!
Over at the Zia, Race 10 found — count ’em! — four touted horses in with longshot chance. Again, no winners, but the second- and third-place runners were covered, at 17-1 and 8-1, respectively. But the winner? Did we find the winner?
Yes, the winner, the 2½-1 race-fave, was OK on LifeLiner speed, so the exacta and trizacta were in play: a $102 payoff on the former, a $459 (for $1) on the latter. As well, the fourth-spot was accounted for by a LifeLiner qualifier, and that super-duper paid $2,612.60 (for $1).
Now for some purely touted scores. Start in the ninth at Retama last night. Three horseys were touted, and the top two of those ran one-two in the perfecta: Bonkersmate Magna Breeze won at $10.80, and 11-1 runner-up Top Deniro completed the $90 exacta. Ah, no good on the trifecta, though. Regretsz!
Then it was a mild case of a King of the NetCapper Bulliesz at Remington, courtesy of Denail Thunder, a disappointing (!) $10.40 to win.
Finally, there was the one race touted at Santa Anita Park in picturesque Arcadia, Calif. That one raced touted was the eighth. Two horseys were touted, with the top tout being named A Toast to You. A Toast to You was 12-1 on the morning line and 18-1 in real life. A Toast to You was fifth-choice on the Betting Line, no Fair Odds assigned, and had a LifeLiner array of 69-75-98. A Toast to You ran to that characterization in the late stages, rallying furiously to prevail by half a length at a win mutuel 20¢ shy of $40.
The 2½-1 race-fave completed the exacta and was OK on LifeLiner Speed, yielding a makeable $175 exacta.
Thank you, A Toast to You. Thank you. L’chaim!
WMF Report:
Early
Albuquerque 5½f, 7f
Belmont 6f
Gulfstream 6f
Mountain 5f, 5½f
Keystone 7f
Portland 6f
Santa Anita 6f
Rally
Hawthorne 1 1/16m
Santa Anita 6½f (T), 1m (T)
Nocturnal Submission: Sifting through the wreckage…
Thank you. Best wishes. Goodbye. Drive safely.
yes many times at the intersection 0f Becks run road and Brownsville rd here in the burg. right foot on the break…left foot on the clutch waiting….and waiting…and waiting for the green light…then that QUICK right foot on the gas and the fast/slow release of that clutch…..with 5 cars behind yenz!
OK. It’s not recommended as a matter of habit, but once in a while it’s acceptable to ride the clutch. Allah will forgive yinz. But have yinz forgiven the Pyritesz?
Ahh the clutch, As a kid I left tractor stopped in front of fire hydrant,came back later, let out clutch & stopped front tire right on top of hydrant. Killed switch & left tractor right there. A 1948 Farmall “HIGH CLEAR” tractor, came from Louisiana. Not many of them, Made like the Farmall Super A only taller so you could Cultivate Cotton and Sugar cane. Still have that Tractor. You have never seen as much tobacco as I cultivated with that old thing.
What about the starter on the floorboard to the right of the gas pedal. We had a Chevy pick-up truck like that. The movie FLIM FLAM MAN was filmed in and around Winchester. The movie people offered my dad 300 bucks for that truck, he would not sell it. BOO HOO, another chance down the drain, to become someone???
There’s a movie of all your high jinks (hijinx?) from this post alone! Then you’d be somebody. Or at least a reality show. And you won’t have to neglect your facial grooming the way those Duck Dudes have. Do it, honeyman! Do it! The Genuine Apiarists of Winchester County! Coming soon to PBS. If you play it right, you’ll have Downtown Abbie as a lead-in and you’ll be able to write your own ticket! Do it!