"Fuzzy-wuzzy, rub-a-dubby, wishy-washy, mealy-mouthy...!"
Despite much misplaced hype, that's the basic singsong nursery rhyme that these days passes for meaningful handicapping information and instruction. As Jack Palance used to rasp on his hit television program, "Believe it...or not!"
More likely, if said masterpiece did not come attached to a marginally competent personality in the horseracing game, the work would get the review it really deserved -- namely, the kind reserved for the carnival-barker pitches coming via the old mailbag and stamped with grainy 1930s headshot and sent via bulk rate.
Buyer, beware! If that sort of claptrap actually is the most significant contribution to the literature in the last 10 years or so, it's time to hop in the time machine and blast fast-forward to a better decade. (Thankfully, you need not worry -- by virtue of your tuning in here, it's sooner than you think.)
In this brave new world we've created for you, dear handicapper, facts are facts, information is information and instruction is instruction. Specifics are crucial to the process, because everything is based on cold, hard research and painstaking study of the real and tangible. Now, it may be a shock to your system that this is possible, or, more so, that you are the star of the show, but that's how we're doing things here. Celebrities are for fan clubs. You want to win, and, conveniently, that's our purpose: to turn you into the best handicapper you're capable of becoming.
Clearly, you can't get there with mushy thinking or an absence of facts or information. You need some sound basics to build your information-set on, and you get them right here. Whether it's the clear, lucid instruction of C&X Report or the mountain of evidence and facts behind Hidden Probabilities: Hard-Core Research for X-Rated Horseplayers, or the sharp-focus trainer studies in the first significant books on handicapping in the last month, The Quick and Dirty Guides to Trainer Subtleties, or the comprehensive material in 2002 PARS PLUS or the highly documented and easy-to-understand software such as Fast Capper or ALL-IN-ONE, you get page after page, screen after screen, of information and instruction that will help you cash in on the mysteries of Thoroughbred horserace handicapping, the mysteries that continue to baffle many of the self-proclaimed experts.
Indeed, the praise for Quick and Dirty is streaming in -- from the people who count the most, the readers. "Really accurate!", "Are you going to do them for other circuits?", and "Excellent!" are just a few of the choice remarks made about these handicapping resources. But why not find out for yourself? Put the books in your hands and see what all the fuss is about. These books are as enjoyable to read and learn from as they are for you to profit from. It's the best of all possible words -- and to make sure it is, we give you our standard satisfaction guarantee.
Truly, this is stuff you can understand and use...right now! Find out how by visiting the Cynthia Publishing Company Handicapping Store.
And you thought the guaranteed million-dollar pick-6 pool was big!
The innovative NYRA braintrust is pulling out all the stops Saturday, Travers Day, with an all-Graded-stakes pick 4 that will have a wagering pool of not less than $1 million. Yes, that's correct. The same kind of guarantee as the popular pick-6 fad, but for two fewer races. Less is more! Where do we sign up?
To win the jackpot, simply select the winner in four consecutive designated races on the Saratoga card. The races are the seventh (the Grade III Ballston Spa Breeders' Cup Handicap at a mile and a sixteenth on turf for fillies and mares three-and-up), the eighth (the Grade II Fourstardave Handicap, also at a mile and a sixteenth on turf for three-and-ups, but without the gender restriction), the ninth (the Grade I King's Bishop Stakes at seven furlongs for three-year-olds) and the 10th (the Grade I Travers Stakes at a mile and a quarter, also for three-year-olds). Now, aren't you glad you're such a good Graded-stakes handicapper?
And like The Gimp in the motion picture "Pulp Fiction," we dredge up the infamous Man, from the erstwhile On-Line at the Short Line production, "Man vs. Machine." The machine, Fast Capper 2002, returns in his regular role.
Ballston Spa: Fast Capper 2002 sees longshots galore in this one, led by Babae (fair odds 5-2), Cozzy Corner (5-1) and Solvig (6-1). Surya is the steadiest late-running threat, and a scare horse, to be sure. The Man agrees with Fast Capper, if only to downgrade the obvious choices in here while promoting a stranger-danger (the foreign invader Decencia, certain to go off at the 6-1 odds the Man would prefer).
Fourstardave: Baptize (5-2) and Del Mar Show (5-1) are Fast Capper's top two, with the play almost assuredly the former, given the latter's morning-line favoritism. Sardaukar appears outclassed, but should be rallying dependably enough at the end to make things interesting. To the Man's mind (?), Fast Capper's duo makes sense, as does the late-running Sardaukar. He thickens the mix by including the obvious Frankel runner, Kappa King. A stab with Sardaukar wouldn't be the worst thing, and Baptize might also get some action at a generous 9-1 or better.
King's Bishop: Fast Capper can't argue with the track oddsmaker's appraisal of Gygistar as the low-priced choice, but even the skimpy 2-1 fair odds might not be available, to say nothing of a little premium on top of that. However, the ever-game Boston Common (5-1) packages sufficient talent and ability in an unbeatable price. As for the Man, he's stuck. Not truly liking any of the entrants, he makes a compromise selection of Folkestone Park, with a wager forthcoming only if the horse reaches 6-1 on the board. ...
Of course, it's the Travers, the traditional Midsummer Derby. Had there been expanded weekend coverage stretching to Sunday, the headline would gain a number, in recognition of the big, 14-horse Pacific Classic at Del Mar.
Travers: The gutless, overpriced Shah Jehan rates Fast Capper's top pick (7-2), but the Machine doubtless derives more comfort from D. Wayne Lukas's ability to win in situations in which he appears to have no shot -- that is, if the Machine had it in him. Of course, Machine includes Medaglia d'Oro (7-2) in the mix, along with Like a Hero (7-2). The Man will take a Custer-like stand against Medaglia d'Oro, hoping longshots Like a Hero and Repent are enough to keep the Indians at bay.
Both Machine and Man send their best wishes to you for a prosperous Travers Day.
Last time, it was the importance of late-running ability to the outcome of most turf races. Chiselling proved it out in the Secretariat, as did Golden Apples in the Beverly D. The Million also was a total gang charge in the final sixteenth, which underscored the big factor of trip on the grass, too.
This time, the opposite, the importance of early-running ability to the outcome of most sprints for two-year-olds.
Obviously, dashes shorter than six furlongs are lopsidedly in favor of the horses jumping out of the gate in front and staying there the brief distance to the wire. But even at six furlongs, the frontrunners are in control, especially at this point of the summer.
A scan of the six-furlong races for two-year-olds at 10 different tracks from early-August 2001 to early-August 2002 shows that it's not unusual for the leaders through the opening half-mile to win twice as often as horses that make the lead after that stage of the race. At traditionally early-speed-favoring strips such as Retama Park and Saratoga, the ratio exceeds 4:1, with the final furlong becoming a no-passing zone.
Two-year-olds, then, in the six-furlong sprints of summer win on the front-end, and it's rarely an improper strategy to emphasize those contenders who figure to have the lead or approach it during the opening four furlongs.
Fast Capper 2002 is the computer program that can help you profitably resolve many thorny handicapping-and-wagering issues that may be hampering your best efforts to prosper at Thoroughbred racing.
Courtesy of its extensive library of par times for just about every combination of distance, surface and class level for almost all the racetracks in North America, Fast Capper 2002 gives you clean, definitive and easy-to-apply answers to such nagging questions as: How will this horse do on the stretchout in distance? Can this longshot successfully step up in class? Is this favorite actually a bogus one, even though he's shipping from a high-class track to a lower-class one?
In fact, Fast Capper 2002 answers these questions and many more like them because it actually projects the running times for each horse or contender in the race. And it projects these times to fall in line with the conditions of today's race. So there won't be a distance-switch, surface-change, class-move or ship-in or ship-out situation you won't be able to handle with amazing ease.
All you need to tell Fast Capper 2002 is which horses you feel are the logical contenders in the race, and which past race to use to measure each of your contenders by. That's pretty simple, isn't it? Fast Capper 2002 does the rest.
And with the exciting downloadable racefiles from Dr. Jim Cramer's HDW (Handicappers Data Warehouse), Fast Capper 2002 will gladly furnish you with an automatic last-race-for-each-horse-in-the-race handicapping outlook for the race -- at the touch of your mouse. These downloaded racefiles also give you the wonderfully accurate and projected Cramer Speed Ratings and Track Variants. Fast Capper 2002 makes optimal use of these very powerful handicapping tools. The result is an increased precision in Fast Capper 2002's running-time projections. How about that!
Manual entry of the data from Daily Racing Form past performance source also is a breeze, and the Fast Capper's catalog of average daily track variants for nearly every track in the country guarantees a more precise track-variant adjustment for manual-entry handicapping than ever.
For all Fast Capper 2002 can do for you, you might expect it to cost several hundred dollars, at least. Indeed, there are many programs on the market that can't begin to match Fast Capper 2002's thoroughness and precision -- yet they'll set you back up to $249, and the results will no better than random! Don't settle for that! Especially when Fast Capper 2002 will give you power, precision and profits at less than half the price.
That's right. The Fast Capper 2002 package -- which includes the Fast Capper 2002 handicapping software along with the 2002 Cynthia Publishing Par Times on CD-ROM plus the outstanding supplemental printed materials in the research-driven and stat-filled Pars Plus book -- is yours for $100, plus shipping and handling and applicable California state sales tax. Yes, Fast Capper 2002 gives you superior performance at a fraction of the price that some overhyped but underperforming software goes for.
But you won't know until you try. Taken separately, each distinct element of the Fast Capper 2002 package is well worth $100 on its own. To get all three elements for $100 is an outrageously great deal for you. Why delay? Get on an affordable road to improved results and satisfaction from your handicapping and wagering on Thoroughbred horseraces. Check out the Fast Capper 2002 now at the Cynthia Publishing Company Handicapping Store.
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