The great rock-and-roll philosopher Frank Zappa might have disguised his sanity when he gave his children names like Dweezil and Moon Unit, but he certainly knew what he was talking about when he said, "The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows."
Well, we're here to locate the eyebrows for you, and to tell you several dozen emotional stories, too. You'll find all of it in our latest informational booklets -- conveniently, shipping now -- called "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties." We've compiled a booklet for the New York circuit, and another for Southern California.
Yes, you might say, the world needs another trainer book the way I need a hole in my head. But this isn't just another trainer book. This is a book that begins where all the trainer-computers of the world leave off. This is a book that isn't a desperate, uninspired ripoff of everything else out there. Therefore, if you are looking for phonebook-style columns and rows of win-percentage numbers and in-the-money tallies and ROI scores, you will be sorely disappointed with "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties."
Now, if you're still listening out there, here's what you have to look forward to in "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties."
You'll begin to understand dozens of trainers on your circuit like never before. You'll view them as flesh-and-blood creatures who are governed much, much more by fear and greed -- as well as hope and optimism, and gloom and despair -- than by a last-race Beyer Speed Figure or a finish position. Yes, this book does for your knowledge of trainers and their moves what scouting reports do for sports teams. Indeed, reading "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties" is very similar to reading the expressive face of that patsy in your weekly poker game -- you get quite the advantage. (As well as that same giddy feeling of somehow being able to predict what's going to happen next.)
Truly, "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties" is your handbook to spotting the handful of telltale manoeuvres each trainer, consciously or not, repeats with unfailing consistency. Yes, trainers can be studied for the unique, psychological beings they are, beings who cannot be fully or simply expressed by the coldness of a jumble of numbers -- many of them contradictory. For this very reason, the same-old trainer reports are no longer sufficient to gain an edge on this fascinating slice of handicapping -- there are so many identical stats out there that their effectiveness has been diluted and their pari-mutuel prices have been discounted.
Rather, "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties" puts you on a higher level of trainer-consciousness. For example, a trainer is good with layoff runners, but is there a subset of layoff runners with which he's particularly adept? Or is there a specific blinkers-on scenario that is more telling than the others? Yes, a trainer could be fantastical with stakes runners, but is there a segment of his stakes runners -- perhaps dropping down from Graded events. or even rising from allowance races -- that outperforms the rest? These are the types of deeper-thinking questions "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties" seeks to answer.
And with the answers comes an exciting new outlook on many of the trainers on your circuit. Learn who the optimistic, good-gamble conditioners are. Find out who wins merely by attrition. Master the specific and recurring handicapping situations that distinguish one trainer from the next the way fingerprints and DNA fink out common criminals. Yes, it can be done! See how in "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties."
To mark the availability of "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties," we'll make you a special deal. The regular retail price of "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties" is a modest $25. But in this exclusive "On-Line at the Short Line" offer good only till July 31, we'll make the price even more modest by slashing it 20 percent. Yep -- you get your choice of "The Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties" for either the New York circuit or the Southern California circuit for just $20, plus shipping. Or save 30 percent off the cover price by getting them both for $35, plus shipping. Or, even better, get both of them free when you order your 2002 PARS PLUS Special 10th Anniversary Edition book or -- ta-daa! -- Fast Capper 2002. (Your discount will not appear on your online ordering information; however, it WILL be applied by the human processing your order.)
Take advantage of these special offers right now by visiting the Cynthia Publishing Company Handicapping Store. God bless the eyebrows!
Big-Prize Handicapping Contestants, it is now post time!
The Weekend Warrior division of the July-August-September Del Matoga 2002 Edition of the Big-Prize Handicapping Contest gets underway this weekend, and everyone starts with the same score. So make plans to jump in this weekend and play for the duration of this exciting competition. Bragging rights are a given, but the real American cash money you can win is probably even better.
It's fun, it's so easy, and you can read the rules and play right here at the Big-Prize Handicapping Contest entry page.
Good luck and good handicapping.
And now for your moment of handicapping indulgence: 23 stakes races from coast to coast, spanning four time zones and more than 3,000 miles. Yee-haw.
As always, the following are based on the prospect of fast tracks and firm courses, well before any raceday scratches or inclement weather wreak havoc with the pace-and-speed scenarios. In the case of precip or declarations, please adjust accordingly.
As always, best wishes for a prosperous weekend.
The new twist, of course, is an even better deal for you: Order your Fast Capper 2002 on CD-ROM (or your 2002 PARS PLUS Special 10th Anniversary Edition book) and get both "Quick and Dirty Guide to Trainer Subtleties" books FREE.
Fast Capper 2002 is the computer program that can help you profitably resolve many thorny handicapping-and-wagering issues that may be hampering your best efforts to prosper at Thoroughbred racing.
Courtesy of its extensive library of par times for just about every combination of distance, surface and class level for almost all the racetracks in North America, Fast Capper 2002 gives you clean, definitive and easy-to-apply answers to such nagging questions as: How will this horse do on the stretchout in distance? Can this longshot successfully step up in class? Is this favorite actually a bogus one, even though he's shipping from a high-class track to a lower-class one?
In fact, Fast Capper 2002 answers these questions and many more like them because it actually projects the running times for each horse or contender in the race. And it projects these times to fall in line with the conditions of today's race. So there won't be a distance-switch, surface-change, class-move or ship-in or ship-out situation you won't be able to handle with amazing ease.
All you need to tell Fast Capper 2002 is which horses you feel are the logical contenders in the race, and which past race to use to measure each of your contenders by. That's pretty simple, isn't it? Fast Capper 2002 does the rest.
And with the exciting downloadable racefiles from Dr. Jim Cramer's HDW (Handicappers Data Warehouse), Fast Capper 2002 will gladly furnish you with an automatic last-race-for-each-horse-in-the-race handicapping outlook for the race -- at the touch of your mouse. These downloaded racefiles also give you the wonderfully accurate and projected Cramer Speed Ratings and Track Variants. Fast Capper 2002 makes optimal use of these very powerful handicapping tools. The result is an increased precision in Fast Capper 2002's running-time projections. How about that!
Manual entry of the data from Daily Racing Form past performance source also is a breeze, and the Fast Capper's catalog of average daily track variants for nearly every track in the country guarantees a more precise track-variant adjustment for manual-entry handicapping than ever.
For all Fast Capper 2002 can do for you, you might expect it to cost several hundred dollars, at least. Indeed, there are many programs on the market that can't begin to match Fast Capper 2002's thoroughness and precision -- yet they'll set you back up to $249, and the results will no better than random! Don't settle for that! Especially when Fast Capper 2002 will give you power, precision and profits at less than half the price.
That's right. The Fast Capper 2002 package -- which includes the Fast Capper 2002 handicapping software along with the 2002 Cynthia Publishing Par Times on CD-ROM plus the outstanding supplemental printed materials in the research-driven and stat-filled Pars Plus book -- is yours for $100, plus shipping and handling and applicable California state sales tax. Yes, Fast Capper 2002 gives you superior performance at a fraction of the price that some overhyped but underperforming software goes for.
But you won't know until you try. Taken separately, each distinct element of the Fast Capper 2002 package is well worth $100 on its own. To get all three elements for $100 is an outrageously great deal for you. Why delay? Get on an affordable road to improved results and satisfaction from your handicapping and wagering on Thoroughbred horseraces. Check out the Fast Capper 2002 now at the Cynthia Publishing Company Handicapping Store.
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Suite 524 Studio City CA 91604
Voice (323) 876-7325 Fax (323) 874-1591