The saga of man vs. machine has come to its rightful end.
"Put the man out to pasture!" screamed one irate reader's e-mail. "And keep the machine well-oiled for next week!"
The reader had a point. He was still busy counting the money in his pocket from what he said were the four stakes-winner overlays provided in this space last week by the self-styled machine, Fast Capper 2002. In contrast, the man had no answer, and began getting caught up anyway in the excitement of the world's greatest sporting spectacle, the World Cup.
A little punchy during the week from the late (or early, depending on your viewpoint) West Coast start times for the games, the man was heard muttering during the week, "Brasil cannot win with Carlos as their goalkeeper! He's too damn excitable! Why do they have to take their shirts off after scoring -- that's bass ackwards! That Ronaldinho! What a performer! Almost as good as Vlade Divac with the diving and flopping! Oh, the humanity! Gooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaallll! Gooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll! One-nil!"
One wonders, What might the man have blurted out had he known about the irate reader's e-mail?
The machine snickered softly at the man's incoherent ranting, thinking, "Poor guy. No wonder he's so afflicted by the ups-and-downs of the game. Thank goodness I'm still here to carry the show."
Tonight, while the man puts on his Henri Camara jersey hours before he roots for Senegal over Turkey (no, that's not edible) in Saturday's late game, the machine has agreed to perform an extended handicapping solo.
Of course, the machine knows that results speak for themselves, and he realizes he's done a good job of selling himself. But he knows there are those who need to hear the verse-chorus-verse pattern a few times before they can hum or whistle on their own.
Fast Capper 2002 is the computer program that can help you profitably resolve many thorny handicapping-and-wagering issues that may be hampering your best efforts to prosper at Thoroughbred racing.
Courtesy of its extensive library of par times for just about every combination of distance, surface and class level for almost all the racetracks in North America, Fast Capper 2002 gives you clean, definitive and easy-to-apply answers to such nagging questions as: How will this horse do on the stretchout in distance? Can this longshot successfully step up in class? Is this favorite actually a bogus one, even though he's shipping from a high-class track to a lower-class one?
In fact, Fast Capper 2002 answers these questions and many more like them because it actually projects the running times for each horse or contender in the race. And it projects these times to fall in line with the conditions of today's race. So there won't be a distance-switch, surface-change, class-move or ship-in or ship-out situation you won't be able to handle with amazing ease.
All you need to tell Fast Capper 2002 is which horses you feel are the logical contenders in the race, and which past race to use to measure each of your contenders by. That's pretty simple, isn't it? Fast Capper 2002 does the rest.
And with the exciting downloadable racefiles from Dr. Jim Cramer's HDW (Handicappers Data Warehouse), Fast Capper 2002 will gladly furnish you with an automatic last-race-for-each-horse-in-the-race handicapping outlook for the race -- at the touch of your mouse. These downloaded racefiles also give you the wonderfully accurate and projected Cramer Speed Ratings and Track Variants. Fast Capper 2002 makes optimal use of these very powerful handicapping tools. The result is an increased precision in Fast Capper 2002's running-time projections. How about that!
Manual entry of the data from Daily Racing Form past performance source also is a breeze, and the Fast Capper's catalog of average daily track variants for nearly every track in the country guarantees a more precise track-variant adjustment for manual-entry handicapping than ever.
For all Fast Capper 2002 can do for you, you might expect it to cost several hundred dollars, at least. Indeed, there are many programs on the market that can't begin to match Fast Capper 2002's thoroughness and precision -- yet they'll set you back up to $249, and the results will no better than random! Don't settle for that! Especially when Fast Capper 2002 will give you power, precision and profits at less than half the price.
That's right. The Fast Capper 2002 package -- which includes the Fast Capper 2002 handicapping software along with the 2002 Cynthia Publishing Par Times on CD-ROM plus the outstanding supplemental printed materials in the research-driven and stat-filled Pars Plus book -- is yours for $100, plus shipping and handling and applicable California state sales tax. Yes, Fast Capper 2002 gives you superior performance at a fraction of the price that some overhyped but underperforming software goes for.
But you won't know until you try. Taken separately, each distinct element of the Fast Capper 2002 package is well worth $100 on its own. To get all three elements for $100 is an outrageously great deal for you. Why delay? Get on an affordable road to improved results and satisfaction from your handicapping and wagering on Thoroughbred horseraces. Check out the Fast Capper 2002 now at the Cynthia Publishing Company Handicapping Store.
Thank you for your kind indulgence. Now on to the Main Theme.
Thirty or so stakes races throughout North American on Saturday, and as was the case last week, Fast Capper 2002 is there to provide you with its betting lines in each of them, or almost all of them. As always, these are based on fast dirt tracks and firm turf courses and, of course, before any knowledge of raceday scratches, weather-related or otherwise. (Looks like good weather all over the country -- save for South Florida -- this time. Yeah.)
Best wishes for a prosperous and fun weekend.
Big day of statebred races at Arlington. The seventh looks like one of those indecipherable turf scrambles, so aiming for a fat price likely represents a winning gambit. Oppositely, the conventional wisdom is calling the Locust Grove at Churchill a two-horse race between Voodoo Dancer and Snow Dance, but Fast Capper 2002 views things as much closer and more contentious. Hollywood's Vanity features the high-flying Azeri, but Starrer's automatic up-front style and well-concealed talent might make things interesting.
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